August 16, 2014
Before I begin this pointed tale, I want to confess that I to date own over three hundred hats and a few lovely fascinators. I have shopped at famous London milliners, been to the Kentucky Derby, New York Hat Conservatory Day Fete and more where hats mandated attire. Not wanting to age badly nor be a victim of skin cancers, I always try to wear large brim hats when boating or on the beach. In fact, sports being a huge part of my life and even though quite good at golf found myself playing less [more early a.m. and evening tennis] due to hours in the sun required. So you see I love hats and fascinators but ONLY when the right place and time. I fondly remember my late Mother directing me to not include a hat when going to this or that event as was too much shall we say – not in good taste – later realizing she was sparing me being mocked by others. Oh well, again my good luck in having a REALLY fashionable East Coast life one might say. As you my regular readers must know there will always be more about that later. For now here we go with the REAL life tale – with my usual not so subtle life lesson included – of how it has become apparent a monkey type has a bit of a crush on a somewhat attractive poseur lady with what seems to be a fascinator fetish:
A monkey named Jeff seemed enamored with a female human who was fond of wearing fascinators even at the most inappropriate times … Seems primates, unlike REALLY discriminating humans are smitten with exaggeration attire no matter the lack of good taste the wearer might be demonstrating. Now most surprising is the monkey was life mate to what all were lead to believe was his one and only true love … A best friend of sorts. Still Jeff made clear with affirmations “likes” and words printed out on the keyboard keepers had taught this monkey how to use that fascinator lady had captured his interest. Especially shocking to the humans seeing this was the monkey using words he never felt comfortable with – his usual choices being far more pedestrian in tone. All of sudden Jeff was emoting with “fabulous” and such. Wherever did such a nearly illiterate creature learn that sort of verbiage? The monkey even took to typing out compliments to seemingly deranged Mama of fascinator lady. What was one to make of such affection … Especially the monkey’s mate? A simple friendliness or a telling of REAL and deep wanting for something prettier than his life companion? After all monkeys are the evolutionary brethren of we humans … Jeff being male might simply be expressing what so many men do when after years of being with one person – despite his own insular world – become taken with another more alluring. Now I do not endorse this behavior in humans of course as one must find a way to see REAL beauty in that person who is their lawful [wedded] mate and if wanting a more pleasant appearance kindly suggest that person tidy up bit shall we say. Alas monkeys nor the less human types among us are not capable of grand thoughts as to what REAL commitment entails it seems.
Surely my regular readers and those intuitive realize this is not REALLY about a monkey per se … Although my husband was asked to review a book with a monkey named Jeff as primary character and all here said YES do it and my husband did rather well as my review of his online post commented. What this essay is meant to instruct is that decorum and intention of words are to be taken quite seriously and no less than any other activity that represents a person’s character. In totality my husband and I have over 100, 000 regular blog readers in 170 countries – I have nearly 5000 blog subscribers and over 4000 Facebook followers and many on other social media sites. I mention these facts because often I receive quite complimentary comments from men … At times what I consider much too flirtatious as they know I am married and indeed many of them are too. My husband and advisers agree with me that these, while always polite and never vulgar, compliments are what we consider evidence of men not content with their own relationships and at times suggestive of more definitive facts that they are without REAL decency. What to gather from all this you might be thinking? Well simply that those among us without REAL intelligence or guidelines for behavior show their true selves through both deeds and words. Careful one must be and if inclined to do that which I describe monkey Jeff as having done with fascinator lady than pause and contemplate the why and intrinsic meaning of your thoughts.
Note: I am dedicating this essay to Koko the ape who it seems had a ongoing friendship and as her keepers explain REAL love bordering in her mind on romance with the wonderful late Robin Williams. When informed of the tragic death of Robin, Koko cried and became depressed but then again did not we all? Rest in Peace dear man … We all miss and love you, not just Koko!
August 5, 2014
I am a proud American Jewish Zionist … As most of my people I am instructed by our faith that details all areas of life, even addressing our enemies. From the beginning the burden of compromise is on us – simply put that we must attempt to thwart the conflict between us as individuals or a nation and those seeking argument and conflict. However NOT at all cost and never at the risk of our own demise. So it is that my husband and I of late have felt and had knowing others in our life compare our personal nemesis to Hamas as we are to Israel in their efforts to malign, harass and some well placed believe actually destroy our very existence. This essay is merely an attempt to give clarity as our personal enemies claim by means of subterfuge being victim after years of attacking us and after we had no choice but to seek a decisive route to defend and [legally] see punished they, our sworn enemy … All as Israel has done not necessarily for punitive reasons but instead as neither our nemesis nor Hamas was willing to admit guilt and reform their actions in effort to leave all involved as before. My hope and that of my dear husband is that by seeing the personal an example of the bigger picture that Israel deals with, you the readers will somehow come to understand the reality of our and Israel circumstances.
Some of you my regular readers are aware – some more detailed than others – of the horrible stalking, harassment, slander, defamation and worse, including sexually toned threats, all in the last few years and preceeded by our home being criminally vandalized 2003 and even a phone death threat that my husband and I have been forced to deal with. A Los Angeles Attorney friend describes what has happened to us as a deliberate “reign of terror” [all timeline documented] – additionally some of these well known to us individuals are anti-semitic. Our wonderful lawyer has and is addressing this matter with his usual brilliance and affectionate devotion. Hopefully the legal system will appropriately punish them and my books will expose them and help others faced with similar bullying situations. My point here is would anyone ask myself or my husband to allow these individuals, some who have never met me or seen my husband in over twenty years to go unchallenged or have them be allowed to continue the attacks on us without legal recourse that we seek? Surely no one one would wish on us or another such horrors and constant barrage – often daily – to go on to the point of causing great harm and depletion of all worked for in life. So much the Courts have now insisted we remain silent on as the process toward justice comes closer to fruition, yet still I can assure you [all documented] their multi aspect attacks were without precedence. Seems they felt our own life story would allow room for their misleading representations and so much worse. We like Israel with G-d’s grace lived a full productive life while still addressing at each and every turn their evil deeds. You see Israel flourishes among enemies and we have as well … Of course admittedly with amazing supportive professionals and friends at our side. Too often the enemy hopes by mere weight and depth of their actions retreat is their targets only recourse. This is not to be an acceptable option if survival and prosperity is to be had by those of us while not perfect still entitled to exist contently in peace.
So what is our personal comparison you may ask to Israel’s current conflict? It is actually not difficult when seeing the many tunnels built into Israel by Hamas and their shameful admittance that they want to destroy Israel. When Israel responded as only possible of course the horrors of battle were the result. In my life quite possibly loss of property and employment as we seek damages and our nemesis are publicly exposed will be their result; Some may think [who do not know the full REAL details] that was too much a punishment but those knowledgeable have agreed it is only fair compensation. If any criminal charges result in incarcerations that too will be simply as the justice system determines is rightful remedy. My husband and I, like Israel, did nothing to provoke such vile attempts against us … Nothing that is but make decisions best for our life and future. Many educated in such issues believe our enemies REALLY believed they could go unpunished by convincing others it was my husband and I unworthy of dignity. Does that not sound very much like Hamas toward Israel? No need to extrapolate each analogy to an exact point of comparison … No not at all but only to see each of your personal opposing forces as mine and my husband’s, as well as Israel’s … That is a force often out of envy or misperceived ideas determined to destroy forever the object they have targeted.
Let me conclude with what I deeply feel not only as a Jewish woman but as a citizen of the world: This is on you Hamas … My heart is broken as my Israel has now been involved in a war you the evil of this world began and resulted in the innocent deaths of Jews and others. We Jews are being asked by the world to become complacent and thus be destroyed. You Hamas lie and cause many of the deaths now attributed to Israel. Even those Israel responsible for your doing as your attempts to destroy Israel caused ALL this. Still we Jews are broken hearted … I scream out in sorrow for the death of innocent children no matter their parents decisions and I plead to G-d that all find a permanent truce. This is not who we Jews are or wish to be, as we have saved and healed in hospital many of Israeĺs enemies. I have been to Israel fourteen times and can confirm that all who seek to live peacefully there do so quite happily. Hamas and the world MUST accept Israel’s right to exist and as we Jews MUST now again defend that right, somehow find a way to end ALL the deaths resulting. I trust Israel’s leaders but I am nearly paralyzed by grieve as the innocent while possibly among my enemy die needlessly. Please G-d bring Israel and our neighbors peace … I am here in America crying out to you. I beg to see this end L-rd and I am made helpless by my own fear and confusion – I pray for direction for myself and all involved. Please G-d bless us with peace!!!
P.S. Thank you all for the ongoing support … Many of you close and personal who care for me daily through this horror and still others only known to me through my writing and such. I appreciate you all. With G-d’s grace my husband and I will not only remain triumph but champion the cause of other victims!
June 9, 2014
“Oho!” said the pot to the kettle;
“You are dirty and ugly and black!
Sure no one would think you were metal,
Except when you’re given a crack.”
“Not so! not so!” kettle said to the pot;
“‘Tis your own dirty image you see;
For I am so clean – without blemish or blot –
That your blackness is mirrored in me.”
This poem can be found in the school book “Maxwell’s Elementary Grammar”, ©1904.
A copper shiny kettle was aging well – still providing service to many. Oh yes there were the now and again mishaps – an occasional over boiling of tea water and such. Still for the most part the kettle retained its productivity and one might even say attractiveness. Along side this whistling kettle was a pot – tarnished and showing REAL signs of wear and in fact, not always performing well the task at hand. None the less, this rather unattractive pot managed to cook the meals required of it – a struggle perhaps but sufficient for simple preparation in the kitchen. Seems a copacetic scenario or at least tolerable, wouldn’t you agree? Of course not – these shall we say adversarial relationships never REALLY are.
It seems the bright and shiny kettle had advantages of presence and place that the pot had not. Being used as a service kettle, it was frequently brought out for grand fetes – hence privy to life stories while grand, also oft times fraught with difficult situations. The REAL truth is that on account of this very exposure, the kettle was thought highly of by its owners – able to maintain its glow and provide just the right service no matter the stresses presented that day. Contrast that REAL life narrative to the battered and insular kitchen life of the pot … hmm, without question this lead to pot’s jealous rages and rants in an attempt to demean the kettle with salacious and lie filled taunts. Never made to fill lessened by pots attempts to marginalize its role nor to feel less than content due to its ongoing usefulness, the kettle stood proudly and even increased its standing in their shared home. REAL truth and acceptance of the long and varied life the still shiny kettle had experienced was its glory, whereas the pot felt increasingly frustrated by its inability to destroy the kettle’s sense of well being. In the end, this almost psychopathic determination by pot to malign the kettle, caused it to completely derail. The pot spent so much energy to present kettle in an unfavorable light, that it destroyed itself – cooked meals badly and even burnt a dish or two. In the end, the Masters of the home simply had no choice but to throw that old pot away – leaving kettle happily whistling away, still lovely and REALLY wanted for many, many years to come!
Moral: Simple REALLY is the lesson learned and even referenced in Old Testament text concerning one’s preoccupation with their fellows flaws … for is it not the insecurity and internal demons in evidence when an individual sets out to destroy another on faux considerations? The Kettle and the Pot idiom is no more than a tutorial on those among us who see the refection of their lesser status in those that are the object of their envy and subsequent hate. I once asked my father why so many seemed hateful of we Jews despite our successes and more. He answered that we are like a mirror to those who have failed in their own life – he suggested that our very ability to overcome extreme adversity, survive and even thrive made some others see in us what they could never be. If you know me personally or read me regularly, then you are aware that myself and my husband have needed to deal with individuals guilty of just such pathological reaction toward us. In fact, one such woman wrote on a social media site that I needed to accept I was like her, with the same “middle of middle” life problems – all agreed she was portraying her REAL fear that my happenstance and determinant successes had made her realize the failures her life included, as well as her jealousy of my REAL life narrative. Equally telling are when these sort of individuals, whether diagnosed or observed as such to be unstable project their undeniable emotional problems onto the object of their obsessions (me). Indeed my REAL sworn enemies seem most daunted that I have overcome obstacles most would have been felled by and that husband and I have likewise proven their statements to be fallacies. Each and every decided action we have made to be the stewards of our life – name changes, legal disowning/disinheriting, et al. appears shockingly intolerable to our nemesis. Far too many good people face likewise those falsely believing they have rights to dictate others existences. I am hopeful that through my triumph many will be supported to stay the course toward their chosen destiny. The task is one not easy – much work and support is needed to define in fact and documentation truths about the usurpers among us … however it is a necessary and worthy pursuit. For now may I suggest we all be more introspective when seeing our reflection in the bright and shiny objects before us!
June 8, 2014
During the Summer last year my husband and I were visiting with acquaintances near the small town of New Hope, Pennsylvania. Passing the historic Bucks County Playhouse, our host mentioned their current production of Mothers and Sons by Terrence McNally – I enthusiastically told my day’s companions that I and my parents before me were huge McNally fans and that in fact, I believe I might have once met this genius writer at a Philadelphia event with my Father. All agreed it would be a wonderful idea to see his latest production but time probably would not allow us that opportunity as the play only ran for a few more days. Nothing unusual so far but as with so much in my REALLY serendipitous and always interesting life there is a caveat to this seemingly simple and mundane occurrence.
Just a few days later I found myself attending a meeting with the acquaintance of myself and my husband that had previously suggested we all see the play. As we walked to dinner where the plan was to discuss possibilities for my husband and my new venture, my companion realized we were quite near the Playhouse. We strolled past the billboard in front where I fawned over the play’s announcement – again expressing my admiration for Mr. McNally and the star, Tyne Daly. On this very hot East Coast evening in very high heels I was led by my evening’s host down toward the small gathering of the play’s professionals and arriving theater goers. It seemed [now and for future discussions a bit odd] that my host had previously met Thomas Kirdahy who apparently was involved in the play’s production in a very prominent way and as such introduced me to this extremely charming man – my introduction led to questions and after discussing my studies and family, the chat turned to my planned books and blog. Mr. Kirdahy seemed interested and of course, I was only too eager to suggest he write down my contact information and take a look – as you are doing right now – at my blog essays. I was thrilled that he agreed and was careful to note the exact title of my work and then there was a small discussion that maybe my work could be a play someday along with publisher’s suggested plan for a movie. Oh my, I was thrilled and took the offer of free lemonade the playhouse was serving while being both beaming and excited.
Melting in that evening’s extreme heat and now anxious to both not wear out our welcome and also get this Friday night’s dinner meeting completed, I agreed to sit for a moment more at the the table where the play’s principals were waiting for curtain call outside – it was then that my “play wrong” faux paus occurred – I received a second introduction that went like this: while still standing I heard, “Tereza, this is Terrence“. I leaned over to shake the kind looking gentleman’s hand saying “Nice to meet you, what do you do?” Graciously my new acquaintance answered “I write plays” and then as I sat down said, “That must be interesting“. Yes I did – I said that to a man I have admired for many years and for some reason my dinner companion – which I would have done if visa verse – did not take it upon himself to gently prod by reminding me that this was Mr. McNally [more in future writings about my later concluded reasons for that]. It does get worse my dear readers – after this ridiculous totally unexceptionable social misstep, I began to chatter away about my own writing – actually suggesting that Mr. McNally might enjoy reading what was then my most recent blog essay titled “My Special Relationship with Justice Scalia” – it was obvious we were both probably political Liberals and so there were a few guffaws about that essays title. Still oblivious we bid farewell and walked to our dinner reserved restaurant. Only then did it dawn on me that I had just met one of my favorite writers – an award winning and quite heroic gentleman. Oh my G-d, Oh my G-d, Oh my G-d … yes indeed that was my moment of “I can not believe I did that” happening.
There is a rather sweet follow up to this debacle. The next day I found that a special friend of mine and his husband were in fact seeing that evening’s production of this play. The day after my friend posted on Facebook photos of himself with Mr. McNally and Mr. Kirdahy and Tyne Daly – the play’s star – all of whom my wonderful friend and his husband seem very well acquainted with. Another Oh moment then as I realized I did in fact know that Mr. McNally and Mr. Kirdahy were married – having read that in the New York Times, etc.. Well now – I am fond of saying that I don’t do embarrassment – no that feeling is not in my emotional repartee. My life instead consists of realizations when wrong or offending another, that sincere apology is required, a life correction one might say is to be pursued as a regretful action might have been my mistaken course. With this in mind, I am thinking of just the right gift and note to send the couple of McNally and Kirdahy as explanation and apology for that hot Bucks County evening’s “can not believe I said that” moment!