A few years after my first husband passed away in spring 2001, I was meeting someone for dinner at Philadelphia’s wonderful Capital Grille restaurant in Center City. When I arrived my dinner companion was chatting with a group of gorgeous ladies … introducing me, these gals were sweet and complimentary toward me. Off to dine in the perfectly lighted to look your best dining room – you see this fine restaurant smartly has designed lighting that is quite flattering. After a delicious meal, I went to use the ladies lavatory … OMG – not the same lighting there and I audibly began bemoaning the fact that my 40+ face looked very different than I was told I did in the dining room. At that point one of those very attractive ladies that my diner companion had previously introduced me to joined me at the mirror. Having heard my concerns, this gal assured me that I looked just fine and then asked in a very polite fashion my age. I never lie and so told her 48. Wow she said – then expressed admiration and an invitation. Yes – An invite to come dance at the famous REAL gentleman club in my fair city of brotherly love where she worked. “Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!” I exclaimed. Why is my response worth noting you ask? The answer is that being REALLY multiple degreed – considering myself a seriously intellectual and well read feminist would have precluded my being grateful at such a suggestion when I was in my 20’s or 30’s but then in my late 40’s – oh baby – such a nice offer. Of course, I did not desire nor need to take this generous offer seriously and I have no REAL dancing talent anyway. But still I will discuss and explain here why REAL liberation – REAL feminism means all choices for we women should be doable and equally acceptable … that is only if each is REALLY our own choice.
My erudition prone dear mother and I both joined N.O.W. at its inception – likewise, we mother and daughter team subscribed, read and gifted Ms. Magazine early on. In fact, my amazing mother used her so called maiden name as a middle name long before it was fashionable. My lineage of feminist thinking is solid – even my Bubbe was an atypical Jewish grandmother. Bessy Solomon was well read and REALLY smart … not necessarily as great a cook as other grandmothers but a force to be reckon with and admired. I have written in previous blog posts that my civil rights activist father, Abraham, was also a feminist – he thought no differently about my responsibilities nor opportunities as his only daughter, than he did for my two older brothers. By now my dear readers are aware of the fact that my second husband legally took my last name and have our children do the same and so for that and many other reasons, including his constant concern about women’s rights, Chester Michael Eliasz-Solomon is too a feminist and he has no problem being married to a REALLY strong and capable woman [this time, lol]. My best friend for over thirty years is a guy – my amazing “brother” Markie treats me as his complete equal and my many other male friends, colleagues and acquaintances treat me likewise – as an equal. One must ask if I am just lucky or do I just pick REALLY liberated men to be a part of my life or is it that I will not tolerate less than being treated equal? Answer probably a combination of all those factors. Still there have been times that one or more males have attempted to marginalize me – ignore and/or challenge has been my response … I have shared in other posts that I do not accept being the “damsel in distress” in meetings or anywhere else. My blog has also referenced more than once the many men who have been my heroes – rescuing and protecting me from REAL enemies – most recently from The Miscreants™. Let me not be remiss here – women have also been my heroes and I theirs … gender not a prerequisite to REALLY supportive relationships. My being a feminist has not precluded dependency and need for help from men at certain times … more than can be enumerated here are the occasions when ,my husband, my best friend Mark Kronberger, my daily companion and driver Jim Baker, my male associates and colleagues have come to my defense – they have each unselfishly assisted and guided me. The difference between how my guys and those other women relate to far too often, is that those in my life never make me feel the lesser for their presence nor do I them. My male interactions are a sort of “right back at you” give and take in that I receive and I offer to/from these fine men the same in our codependency relationship status. The last few years have blessed me with a publicist, attorneys and quite recently writer/co-author Michael Charton – all guys who make my success possible while caring about me personally in a REALLY committed fashion. Far too many men to list – even acquaintances [some met through social media sites] that have meant so much to me and helped me in many ways. As it is with women in my life, these men have brought REAL comfort and joy to my daily existence. Truth be told – I experience absolutely no difference and no REAL gender gap between the ladies or the gentleman I have surrounding me. One must question whether that is on account of my own equality outlook or theirs – either way, it remains an informative aspect of my life that gender does not define my most important relationships. There is never any question as to the motivation of my male friends – I am VERY married and so there is never an issue as to the purity of my male friendships; you can easily understand that my own lifelong sense of dignity forsakes any male/female role confusion and that eliminates the possibility of faux or misunderstood intentions. Ladies – it is our job to make our position known – never let your own insecurity lead to a questionable friendship or work relationship with a man. I never feel objectified – not allowed in my life and no woman should accept less than a REALLY respectful and equal platonic bond with the men she includes in her world. Obviously, this also means we must all – men and women alike – fight the current and increasing misogynistic attitude/REAL war on women here in the United States and worldwide.
All right – now lets get back to Playboy Magazine possibilities. In my previous blog post I mentioned how my hair seemed to be developing its own meme on the internet … much chatter, especially from members of THE REAL Evil Doers Club™. Well now – that is not the first obsessed with me utterance from that group … a few years ago chubby legally disowned/disinherited Michigan nurse suggested my attractiveness [according to her friends on Facebook] was on account of all “the work [I] had done”. Never bearing false witness – I immediately and happily responded by listing each and every medical, dental and cosmetic procedure I had, to date, completed. The requisite braces were 2x for me, breast lifted after in duct situ carcinoma surgery, a wee bit of knee [which were a little chunky from life long sports and running activity] and buttocks liposuction and then (most recent at that point) facial Thermage. I assured the Michigan idiot that more would be done ASAP and I would forward details and photos. Now let me assure you that REALLY good nutrition, no drugs, minimal alcohol, constant exercise, attention to skin, oral health, etc. + meditation and prayer all contribute to my internal and external well being and appearance. This is related to a potential magazine pictorial because after all I have been through, if after my end 2013 memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! is published, any REALLY classy periodical deems me a lady they want to appropriately and respectively include in their pages – I say YES! I must qualify that affirmative by saying there are still post pregnancy multiple must dos on face and body that will come first on my 2013 agenda – then we can take tasteful and hubby approved photos for Playboy and such!!!
P.S. Seen here is a REAL travel photo of moi … swimming in the Mediterranean Sea Resort near Tel Aviv Israel. I know – quite distant but all dear hubby will allow me to share at this point. I am working on convincing my darling that a close-up body photo of me is perfectly acceptable. Stay tuned – much “more” to come!!!