Archive for July, 2012

July 31, 2012

The Feminist Fertility Toolbox™

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Your having a (my) baby – a woman like you [my dear hubby always expressing his gratefulness that is was a woman LIKE ME having his babies] … yes, that is a line from an old Paul Anka song but for those of us who have struggled with fertility issues it is a thank you G-d moment when the OB states that as fact. For myself and my husband, it was a costly, time consuming and an often uncomfortable process  – succeed we did but oh baby it was quite a journey. Ours was not only fraught with the physical, financial issues and consideration of my advance maternal age but we had to deal with lies and slander [lawsuits being filed this Fall] about our situation … of course, the ignorant are always out there – as one of my attorneys asked, don’t they read, watch TV or google? His reference was to the fact that many – not only myself – woman past 50 get pregnant and gestate successfully; some from donor eggs  [was option we considered but we were blessed with my own still being viable] and others via surrogate and/or gestational carrier [our next plan after our twin sons are a  little older – we want to have a gestational carrier for our remaining embryos]. By the way, as link I have included explains – there are quite a few women past 50 who got pregnant naturally. Of course, as I advise my younger women friends – do not look to me as a reason to wait – I got lucky and would have been accepting of other options. The other thing that I luckily had was good insurance and the most amazing support system [husband, colleagues and friends] in the world. I want everyone to have choice and opportunity in the baby arena and so I will inform and entertain as best possible in this blog post.

Now – why did I title this blog post with one of the trademarks my husband and I now own … it is quite simple – both he and I are feminist [he and our children legally took my last name as of January 2012] and we truly believe everyone has the right to determine when and how she or he does or does not have children. Trust me – those who oppose choice concerning pregnancy termination also oppose fertilty/reproductive assisted treatments. You have heard the rhetoric about G-d’s will and not wanting to interfere with the divine plan as the zealots see it to be. As a devout practicing Jew, I see G-d’s divine plan as having made available the marvelous doctors and technology that allowed my husband and I to have the children we always wanted. I tell everyone to take full advantage no matter age to make their dream of having children come true – no method should be left unexplored. Most important – as it was for my husband and I – do NOT let anyone, for any reason deter you from your dream of becoming a parent … no matter what form or route, it is worth it.

Possibilities to consider include not only egg donors, gestational carriers but surrogacy, IVF, IVM and of course, for women without male partners or if  their husband has medical issues, sperm banks. For gay or same sex couples, these same possibilities exist. There are also more and more options for women who face illness/cancer therapies that will render them infertile … Ovarian preservation or egg retrieval/freezing prior to treatments are frequently suggested by physicians for those facing that situation. As I already referenced one of the reasons my husband and I trademarked The Feminist Fertility Toolbox and care so deeply about the right of choice,  is that there are those who believe they can and must decide if any and for whom these advanced medical procedures are made available. In other words, politics and not intercourse or a doctor visit will determine who and how babies are made. Definitely an OMG thing to consider, don’t you think???  When we decided to try again [having miscarried early in our marriage nine years ago] to create the family both of us wanted so desperately, my husband and I laughed at the almost dictatorial suggestions by SOME [not those who really love us] that we might want to reconsider on account of our ages, etc.. My husband wanted children so badly, he became angry in thinking those folks had children but somehow thought they could persuade us not to – of course, there were our dear loving REAL friends and extended family who only worried that after our other miscarriages, more heartbreak would devastate us. Like all that seems happens in our life, these amazing people pledged their support once we made it clear we were moving forward in our quest to have children. Many held my hand, took middle of the night calls, drove with me to doctors appointments, thwarted our frequently mentioned enemies and bought the most beautiful baby gifts in the world to fill the nursery for our twin sons.

In some countries, insurances cover fertility treatments  … here in the U.S., only a few tests and procedures are paid for by insurance. One of our goals is to establish a fund to assist others like ourselves who want to pursue the medical options to get pregnant that are so expensive – hoping to seed this with donations from my books, etc. and from other like minded and generous people who know how much having children can mean. This idea actually came from a Main Line [Philadelphia] couple who have a similar organization that helps those wanting to adopt but do not have the funds to pursue that option. We get back to politics here  … in this great nation there are the anti choice zealots who not only want to eliminate pregnancy termination options [even in cases of incest, rape or threat to Mother’s life], cut most prenatal and childhood programs but also do not support insurance companies covering fertility treatments and some others who think adoption should be limited to certain types of couples [not gay for instance]. The proverbial slippery slope is in front of us concerning having  babies …as with all those other slides toward dictatorial policies, we – people of good sense – must remain vigilant and NEVER allow others to determine how a family is created or by whom!!!

P.S. As in other blog posts, I promise details, photos and such – about EVERYTHING, including our children, – after litigation this Fall and definitely in my 2013 book: Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! Hope to see all my readers [now nearly 4,000] at bookstore signings, in the audience when they interview me on TV shows [need to start watching myself – mostly know what is on TV from reading about it at this point] but for now you can “Chat With Tereza” via email by going to my picture next to blog posts. Stay tuned – this is getting REALLY interesting!!!

July 28, 2012

Le Petit Trianon And Why Architecture DOES Matter!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Un endroit tres special … toi seul –  For Queen Marie Antoinette that was Le Petit Trianon and for others no more than a small room or alcove. No matter the style, location or size a special place that one can call their own seems as important to happiness as love. It seems that the French Queen was in that sense very much the same as anyone else in needing and seeking that sort of  joy and security. In that pursuit she embraced and redesigned extensively the Versailles addition that was originally designed as a gift for Louis XV’s maitresse-en-titre, Madame de Pompadour, who died before its completion and so it was subsequently given to her successor, the most famous French mistress, Madame du Barry. It was the  following French King, Louis XVI who gave Le Petit Trianon to his teenage Queen whose legacy has been defined by both truths and misrepresentations. In fact, Le Petit Trianon was criticized by her French peers as being too foreign – often being called “Little Vienna” or “Little Schonbrunn” – a reference to her powerful mother, the only female ruler of the Hapsburg dynasty, Maria Theresia‘s palace – where Marie Antoinette herself was born. As history informs us, Marie Antoinette was both loved and despised during her life – thus finding both a place for celebration and solace in her beloved  Petit Trianon. [By the way, during my visits to France I visited all of Versailles – including Petit Trianon and more … I will detail this and more of my travels, including photos,  in upcoming blog posts and my now REALLY soon book: Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life!].  There are American Castles – places of grandeur designed as testimony to great wealth achieved mostly during America’s Gilded Age – I have visited many, including Newport’s famed The Breakers and Vizcaya in Miami. For myself, it began with my own childhood playroom and later a study that was my singular separate space and then of course as an adult my own homes provided more special areas I considered important – a gym, a garden or private dressing area. My husband and I recently have become able to look forward to being multi residential  – both of us are thrilled and full of wonderful anticipation at the prospect of working with architects and designers to create special unique spaces for each of us and our children. In each life – no matter where in this world – there is a necessitous impetus to create or find that area where comfort,  security and peace can be experienced. The task at hand has been and is ever more to make public and private places that every citizen has access to in order to achieve a balanced life to whatever extent possible.

I often reference all my parents taught and gave me in my blog posts – again, I must acknowledge their teaching that one should take full advantage of public spaces – making an effort to see and experience museums, parks, public libraries and all venues available wherever one lives or visits. I too want my children to make a conscious effort to seek out places of both grandeur and simplicity. For some there is no personal directive toward this lesson but it none the less should be, if not intrinsically known, then taught via public service outreach and/or through education [in schools, etc.]. We must provide public spaces – which serve as social gathering places. Throughout history into current modernity there have been parks, town centers and squares that afforded populations a place to congregate and more – often serving as markets, meeting venues and places of both worship and justice [or lack there of] and  punishment. The suburbs, unlike cities have not provided many gathering public or communal spaces … grant it quite a few are near parks but the very act of needing to drive for access denies the basic intent – that is to dwell freely in a shared area with neighbors or simply to easily seek solitary refuge. Rural areas provide, while not as plentiful as cities, meeting places on account of the basic need to join with others in common spaces – living far apart almost demands a town hall, a fairground or place of worship to gather. Of course, city, suburb or farm/ranch the new town square is social media – while to some extent a place of shared experience or reprieve from others, the internet is not architecture and therefore provides nothing to soothe the soul or attend to our other senses. Of course, I would be remiss if I did not mention that my husband and I take great advantage of the internet in pursuit of homes, vacations, design, etc. – there is without a doubt the most amazing access to all the world’s beauty, art and architecture via the internet. The problem lies in that being the only and singular outlet for some – whether by choice or circumstance. To never walk through a museum, sit in a public park, stroll around a town square or trek through a national preserve is to be denied a human basic experience – the outdoors and the interior places created by joined human effort are equally important venues that are almost a biological imperative to sustain life. We have seen people flock to common spaces for triumph celebrations like national holidays and also to share in tragedies like 9/11 – this need appears to be intrinsic and almost part of our DNA. Vigilance must be maintained to how and why and where architecture can make a difference in all lives.

For some time it has been an accepted fact that hospital design affects a patient’s health – not just the obvious cleanliness and well placed equipment/safety consideration but also the colors, furniture styles and art placement can contribute to or detract from the overall outcome of an individual’s hospital stay. There are also the staff and families and friends visiting that can benefit from the architecture of a medical center. Another important  architecture issue is schools – studies have shown that learning is more easily done in well designed areas and less strife and disruption among students is noted when a school is not only efficiently laid out but is attractive and in tune with all the senses. Teachers are equally affected and have expressed an ability to demonstrate more patience and energy in their dealings with students when the building/their work place is attractive and healthy.  Sadly, public schools are falling victim, like most municipality financed venues, to budget cuts these days – penny wise and dollar foolish for sure as how and where our children learn is paramount to a successful future., Why should only those of us whose children can financially afford private school have a learning atmosphere that promotes achievement? Yes, it is true – as I am so often reminded by skeptics – that in the “old days” many of our most prominent U.S. and world citizens schooled in less than attractive buildings [to say the least]. As my wise Mother was fond of stating – there were no really “good old days” just old days gone by … those much championed and incorrectly remembered halcyon days were also full of segregated and bland places of public education. Granted some students rose above and achieved greatness – most probably [as is often cited in memoirs and biographies] on account of family, clergy or a special teacher or maybe even something uniquely internal gave that person an advantage despite the surroundings where they went to school. Today is different and it is imperative that everything possible be done to architecturally design places of learning that are stimulating, healthy and attractive.

Major cities in the Unites States and other countries are now creating well designed and attractive affordable public and subsidized housing  … major architects are getting involved in the effort to create better and healthy single living spaces for the financial disadvantaged citizenry among us. One plan has produced integrated and various  level income housing communities, while other initiatives have created buildings with the single goal of affordable small but well designed living units … all geared toward a better quality of life. The outcome has demonstrated not only a better result for inhabitants of these well designed  low income units but for the community in general –  legal, medical and sociology experts have studied and agreed that living in a better environment produces individuals more physically and mentally healthy and there is decreased crime and as such less cost/expense to others. Even public transportation throughout the world has been addressed by architects – the stations are now multiple purposed in many places, offering amenities and services, as well as a safer environment. There really is no part of human existence that can not be made better by design and that is why architecture really DOES matter – in many ways and for many reasons!!!

P.S. A previous blog about our Labarador, Princess Java Argus surely expressed how much we consider her family – as such the plan for our new residence is that she & the second Labrador we are planning to add to the Eliasz-Solomon family, Princess Kava Pompeii have their own separate home [not dog house] with full amenities for times when parties or chaos make it uncomfortable or unsafe for pooches to be in main house …so, it goes without saying, we take architecture seriously!!!

July 27, 2012

Chariots Of Fire, The Olympics And Munich’s Shame!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Perfection as a goal  in the world of sports can elevate a human being to heights that can only be described as euphoric. In previous posts, I discussed my own parents and my and my husband’s similar insistence that the children in our family, like ourselves, participate in sports [ my dear husband took no chances our twin sons would not love sports – their main nursery was sports themed from the beginning – even the crib mobiles]. I have also mentioned that for my family athletics has never been about making it to the Olympics or being a professional sports star [unless, of course, that was destined to be and desired] but instead it was about  being both physically fit and also about getting to be part of a team effort – in my 2013 book: Heiress Mommy …A Modern Super Woman Life! I will include my own dependence on athletics and sports at some very sad times in my own life. Another important issue is that  too many minimally talented young people are lured and convinced that they are sports super stars, when indeed they are not – leading to an unfulfilled destiny and I feel, unhappy life. In another blog post I wrote about the idea and personal philosophy that mind, body and soul are all intertwined – so it was for the original Olympic participants – where even poetry was part of the training. The reason I am including this in an Olympic themed blog post is that when my family goes to [as I have been so privileged to have done once] or sits down to watch the Olympics it will be with pure joy and for the love of the games with no prejudice or self interest nor fantasy about our own athletic prowess  …except, this year [2012] brings sadness as well – for Munich’s shame is now London’s shame as there will apparently be no moment of silence for those massacred in 1972.

Empatheia and pathos are Greek words for passion and suffering – a perfect and accurate description of each Olympiad’s quest for glory. The ideal sought by these athletes should not ever be marred by politics but tragically the modern day Olympics games have seen far too much of that exact situation. The origins of the modern Olympic games began when  French Citizen Pierre de Coubertin spoke at the Sorbonne in 1894 attempting to convince The International Congress that the Olympic games needed to be restored as a response to the French defeat during the Franco-Prussian War.  So it was that two years later in 1896 the world began the  route toward lighting the torch. Even though wars and world strife have rarely interrupted the Olympics there were cancellation during both WWI and WWII. The glory lies in that  even when that occurred, the shared dreams of the athletes remained resolute and forward thinking to the next Olympic games – bringing financial gains and improved image to its host cities throughout the world. . As one should in private life, athletes involved overcame and redirected themselves toward victory but there is no way to ignore the societal issues that have indeed been part of the Olympic games over the years.

The 1981 British film Chariots Of Fire depicts beautifully the story of the 1924 Olympic games where a British Jew ran and won as a way to overcome prejudice and antisemitism. The other main character is based on a devout Scottish Christian who runs for the glory of G-d. These two men demonstrate a respect and friendship based on their shared determination as fellow Olympiads – should not that be the template of ALL sports? Hitler used the 1936 Olympics to presente a false narrative concerning his monstrous world domination plans and his design to annihilate the Jews. The most on site tragic Olympic event was undoubtedly the 1972 massacre in Munich of the Israeli athletes – sadly, at this year’s 2012 London Summer games no moment of silence will occur for these slain Jewish sportsman. One must ask if global antisemitism and misplace  hatred of Israel is the reason – for why then was the  tragic death of a Georgian luge athlete at the last Winter Olympics granted a  moment of silence and recognition. Is the group of Olympic officials who are responsible for such decisions really hateful of we Jews and Israel or are they allowing their decision to be determined by other nations wanting Israel destroyed? No Matter the real reason – ALL athletes and ALL who support the Olympics should be concerned – politicizing on account of nationality or religion is definitely a slippery slope away from the Olympic glory.

We Diaspora Jews and Israelis are nothing if not a determined and resilient and optimistic group of people – we will NEVER be deterred nor denied. As such, our presence and success at this 2012 Summer Olympics and all to come will be felt. The triumphs of my people has served as an example to ALL the world – athlete and others – that anything, no matter the strength of one’s enemy, can be overcome and victory achieved!!!

P.S.  I hope everyone will join my family in supporting our U.S. First Lady, Michelle Obama in promoting a national dialogue and effort on fitness and nutrition …our wonderful FLOTUS will be leading an Olympic activity called “Lets Move!” for our brave military service men and women’s children this week at our London U.S. Embassy!

July 26, 2012

Blogging, IP and Copyright Laws …Or Why Imitation is NOT Always Flattery!!!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

The world of law and litigation is catching up with social media – old and new laws are helping to keep the intellectual property of those of us who are producing original ideas and work safe from thieves and usurpers. As you read my blog and upcoming books, there is an obvious concern and determination to make sure that neither I nor anyone else of good intention gets ripped off. Thank G-d even nuanced or the mere suggestion of reproducing or imitating someone’s [my or my husband or you] work is subject to legal action and lawsuits. As I have written before …I LOVE jurist prudence!!!

Since 2011 myself and my husband, C.Michael Eliasz-Solomon, have made it our business to establish/own over thirty different trademarks – some to secure our rights from the evil doers and miscreants you have read about before in my blog posts [more in my soon book: Heiress Mommy …A Modern Super Woman Life!]. The other, less personal reason we trademarked, is to develop products and business venues, as well as create employment opportunities for others. This was an easy decision – and of course very effective because if anyone uses [intentionally or otherwise] any of our trademarked names, they will/can be sued immediately. More subtle situations are when [mostly intentional] someone mimics or piggy backs our work – imitating to some degree our style. No matter how minimal or indirect  the perceived similarity is – it can not and will not be tolerated as this diminishes my/our image and product. Oh my, here I go again being vague – those of you who know me and/or follow me must surely be aware of the reference to the who we are specifically watchful of  but ongoing litigation and my book obligations still keep me from being more direct just now. Suffice it to say the usual suspects are being  “outed” and it is being dealt with sufficiently.

A very important topic for my own current work is blogging and intellectual property/copyright laws. Facts can be reproduced, quoting is acceptable but expressions and style are copyrighted and are NOT acceptable  under the fair use doctrine. Timing is also an issue …if one only begins a particular format, wordage, set up, etc. after or in tandem with another person’s work – especially if there is any interpersonal connection – that is subject to a cease and desist or/and possible lawsuit. It is obvious when someone is imitating or being influenced to an extent where actual plagiarism is occurring and equally illegal is when a usurper either consciously or unconsciously is attempting to benefit from a similar style or name recognition. I will be damned if all my husband and I have worked for – struggled to create and protect, will be used or benefited from by our enemies – no one among you should accept anything similar no matter how insignificant it may seem. Just this week we trademarked our unique [only we two and our children and AKC registered Labrador] legal last name of Eliasz-Solomon because name recognition is important …we insist and have advisers to make sure that no one ever takes advantage of any connection to our name for profit. Some of you already are aware of the fact that my husband and I did extensive legal disowning and disinheritance of  what were previously considered “family” members – trust me [more in my book] when I say extensive, that is what I mean. Why after all that expense and effort, would we allow anyone to use even the slightest form of imitation or connection to us for their own benefit. Never for us means never …as you have read in my blogs before – I LOVE being a 1% type job creator for lawyers and one of my favorite motto directives is SUE THE BASTARDS. All of you should feel the same way …not only as individuals but as a society because cheap knock offs are stealing …stealing jobs, money and reputations and make no mistake intellectual property theft is also stealing.

The good and the bad of me are REAL …all of who I am past, present and future can only be authenticated by myself and those who really know the truth [husband, family, friends, advisers and colleagues]. Just like a REAL Prada, a REAL Louis Vuitton, a REAL Hermes – I am the ONLY REAL Tereza D. Eliasz-Solomon and Heiress Mommy and therefore ONLY I can share the whole story in my book: Heiress Mommy …A Modern Super Woman Life!. A similar cautionary reference is that any blogger with any similar name or style who however subtle might appear to be like me or know me or my husband is only a cheap imitation and possible copyright infringer. Why settle for less, when you can read the best – me my darling blog followers. Stay tune – this ride is getting really interesting and the best is definitely yet to come!!!

P.S.  Beyonce and I share two legal similarities …the first I can not discuss yet because of that ongoing litigation I keep referencing and lawsuits being filed against those who defamed, slandered and are guilty of libel against us but the second is we and our husband’s are smart business people – realizing the necessity of trademarking names. Mr. & Mrs. Shawn Corey Carter trademarked their sweet baby girls name Blue Ivy shortly after her birth …Mazel Tov Beyonce & Jay-Z!!!

July 24, 2012

Pregnancy Klout…

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Being with child has become quite chic and a route to big time Klout  … a definite fashion statement and lifestyle plus. Stars, corporate  executives and other brainy type broads are doing the pregnancy thing with verve and panache. For me it was being everything and more – birthing babies never being allowed to stop my progress toward the goal line of life. But oh baby – did I ever have to get tough against all odds to become a mother late in my glorious and full life. You think you have a story? Trust me – varicose veins and morning sickness are nothing compared to my journey into the nursery [my 2013 book: Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! will detail not only my fertility treatments but also the issue of dealing with loathsome miscreants and lie spewing enemies I/we had to contend with during our happiest of times – do not worry, we ALWAYS defeat the evil doers].

There are so many being garrulous about pregnancy these days. We are bombarded with a plethora of ads, TV shows, films, magazines and pregnancy related online sites [twitter, facebook and blogs]. In fact here we are on my appropriately titled HeiressMOMMY blog. Why now – isn’t having children simply the natural order of things? Surely the world’s increasing fertility problems and women like myself who look to get pregnant later in life demands a conversation about the hows of conceiving but why all the other related subjects being discussed increasingly? Oy veh, I was even more compulsive about being perfect as a pregnant Tereza than my usual do it all, all the time me. Yes there are many benefits from knowledge – one can learn and correct mistakes that women in generations before us made – resulting in healthier mothers and healthier babies. I think the problem, like so much of modernity, is that some become overwhelmed and the normal guilt that comes with wanting to be a good mother is multiplied many fold from the barrage of must dos being thrown at we women while gestating,

There is definitely an up side however …the new pregnancy Klout has definitely shown that we gals can do it all and do it well, even while being pregnant. For myself, the usual not pregnant lifestyle of good nutrition and exercise just translates with a few caveats during gestation. Appearance and beauty maintenance are the same, with the addition of pesky little extras needed like preventing stretch marks and such. We are not after all ill or sick – we are pregnant and we should insist on not being treated like infirmed patients.

Recently Marissa Mayer was named Yahoo CEO – youngest Fortune 500 CEO,  pretty and ambition but the OMG in the press is she is pregnant [due, G-d willing, to give birth to her first child/a son this Fall]. It seems the idea of a woman becoming head of a company is no longer terribly shocking or all that unique but being a pregnant executive gets a whole lot of press coverage. This 2012 London Olympics will include a nearly nine month pregnant Malaysian Shooter [there have been much less further along pregnant participants in the past]  – I often felt like an Olympiad on account of my schedule during gestation and indeed I was racing for the Gold most days. Because of my many responsibilities and daily financial, etc. meetings while pregnant I, at times, felt the insinuated awe and unspoken “You do all this and you are pregnant!”. Even my dearest and supportive gal pals expressed concern [out of love of course] that I was over doing it while pregnant – hoping [as will be the case] that if my husband and I decided to have our other frozen embryos born I would consider a gestational carrier. You see then I could go to meetings, write, workout, socialize safely – at least I think that was the logic behind their plea. Of course, in all fairness my age was of great concern to those who love me so well – but I hear the same questioning of women younger then myself but who like me have multiple roles and admittedly very busy full schedules.

All this focus on us 1% type women who multi task while gestating is flattering and reassuring but it makes me wonder about those pregnant women throughout history who struggled on farms, in fields, during wars and even today [for whatever reason] support their families alone while pregnant – how did they and some still do it? It must be acknowledged that many women died in childbirth in other centuries – there are still places in this world where even now maternal death rates are high. I frequently question how any of us got born prior to prenatal vitamins and pregnancy yoga classes and such. Don’t get me wrong, I insisted on all the bells and whistles – busy but pampered always my life motto. Not even c-section delivery would keep me from makeup and a hair blow out [you understand those first baby & mother photos last forever and I demand looking good for posterity]. The point I want to make is that having it all seems to becoming a must do and a further divide among the classes of women …I worry that those of us able to do it perfectly are alienating our sisters still struggling just to exist. Fortunately there are many private and community, as well as government programs that reach out to lower income and troubled pregnant girls and women. I believe we must make pregnancy not only an honored and important life stage but one treated as a health issue for a better society – the poor or uneducated mother will give birth to our fellow citizen and that woman’s maternal health will therefore affect us all.

I worried for quite some time that the admiration and kindness I received while visibly pregnant would too quickly dissipate after delivering my babies …you see I was kind of use to being a bit of a babe [well toned, etc] before pregnancy and then the Klout thing kicked in during gestation – what was going to be the situation after delivering and prior to getting my figure back?  Trust me – I was definitely the Pregnant In Heels [TV show] type – no over eating or hubby shirts for me. One kind of gets used to the “ah, you look so cute with that big belly” remarks and then folks are just thinking you let yourself go – that is if you are not carrying the little bundles around everywhere. For me, my many loved ones kept assuring me time would bring me back but I am no ones fool – personal trainer, nutritionist  and lipo were always my post pregnancy plan. After all, I am not only happily a REAL mother – I am a REAL woman wearing REALLY glamorous chic shoes –  hear me roar …shh, don’t wake the REAL babies!!!

P.S. For readers who know me or follow me – the REAL reference is an inside notation – soon to be litigated and definitely discussed fully in my book.

July 23, 2012

3rd Party Libel, Defamation,Slander And Harassment …Or How I Learned To REALLY Love Lawsuits!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

My, my, my how silly some people are – while thinking they are “outing” someone when what they are really doing is getting themselves into a whole lot of trouble. You see what most Americans do not understand is that slander, defamation and libelous speech are NOT protected forms of free speech under our U.S. First Amendment. That is why it tickles me so much that fools and miscreants actually believe they have legal rights when they lie or even repeat another person’s bogus, proved to be untrue or unverified story. Don’t you just love jurist prudence – I certainly do!

Now don’t get me wrong – insults, hateful/mean opinions are completely all right as far as one not being able to be sued or charged with  a crime on account of these things. Additionally, hyperbole or dramatic comparisons like my husband’s favorite concerning his ex being the “devil’s daughter” would never be accepted for a reason to sue or to charge someone.  As I explained to a particular ignorant and very unattractive “lady” once – that unless you can get the bonafide devil himself into a court room to deny this, there is no lawsuit and even then, in my opinion, the devil would surely claim this loathsome creature as his very own offspring. Name calling is also not a candidate for litigation – unless of course you are calling someone something they obviously and factually are not and have never been …like a bank robber, a counterfeiter, a whore [because that is a real thing – not just an insult], etc..

One of my recent [last two years] favorite hobbies is preparing with my attorneys and other supporter advisers to file harassment, slander, defamation and  libel lawsuits against a particular group of people – the statue of limitation while different in each State, is expansive when there is a continuing offense or/and fear and other legal matters that made an immediate action nearly impossible or impractical. But I do like and have begun [when appropriate] to act immediately against the offenders – of course, there is something to be said for having evil doers relaxed into thinking their unseemly and ignorant action have allowed them to go unscathed on account of the passage of time. I can even surmise that these individuals have asked an attorney or two or even Googled to assure themselves that too much time has lapsed for us/me to file against them – love the element of surprise in legal matters.

My new favorite litigation topic is internet libel …where someone posts or reposts what they firmly state to be true and a “real” Google archive article. Really? Let me explain it as Google themselves have – they are merely a news aggregator – Google posts ALL articles no matter if proven incorrect, erroneous or has since being rewritten/changed.  In fact, there is much criticism about Google not vetting or correcting that which they offer. Everyone knows that there are as many views/opinions as there are stars in the sky … let us say little Billy and Joey are playing with their family pooch and at one point Billy says to Joey that pooch acts like or looks like some alien. Wow says Joey and then Googles “Are Dogs Aliens?” – bet you there is someone somewhere and for some reason [even if only a cartoon reference] that has produced a now Google ready article stating as factual that dogs are definitely aliens. I admit that at times my own canine appears or acts like a space cadet but we all know dogs are NOT aliens. No matter the source – you can NOT attack the character of someone by using an internet found article and oh by the way not even truth is a defense for an invasion of privacy charge [exception is when you are accessing information for your own safety concerns or to fight litigation against you] …in other words, you cannot claim you thought something was true in your most inner self and that was your reason for  making a statement or posting. Oh no, you can neither/certainly not post or repeat something not 100% true other than an opinion or feeling and you also can not repeat or harass with what you might think is true because it is a published article. Another issue is there is no defense by saying you only were repeating another person’s libelous utterances or sending/posting that which someone else sent you. Here is one of my favorite aspects of these laws – if you have been told or if you have corresponded with the persons you are attacking and they have told you something  is not true and then you slander anyway – OMG – are you in big trouble. This is because you had the advance knowing and/or capability due to exposure and personal interactive relationships to get the real facts. The most egregious action and easily won lawsuit is where someone actually makes something up about someone and then posts it on social media or shares via email or through oral utterances and on top of that has others ask if they are sure this is true, only to state with certainty that it is true [can you my dear readers guess this is one of my upcoming take all their stuff/please incarcerate this bottom dweller lawsuits?]. The exception is obviously when someone proudly and deliberately professes an involvement with a particular group or organization – has their name voluntarily attached to something that has been made public – then and only then can you use this as a true and real connection because there is no speculation on your part and no harassment nor attempt to shame …it simply is on account of the individual you are discussing having boasted their own involvement that makes such statements not libelous. An example is when an individuals belongs to/has their name on a list or website of  a company or school or group or faux church, etc. that has been blamed for or charged or written about for wrong doings –  simply written about because of its ridiculousness – then you may comment or post  without impunity. For me I would not and could not seek a lawsuit if anyone repeated that I am Jewish, name of my synagogue where I am member,  my [location not given here because of security concerns] ____ Women’s Newcomers Club, etc. – none of these types of things are slander or harassment no matter the possible negative tone/even salacious information that might be published in the press about my group being repeated – only and unless it is being done to cause me harm by indicating my where about in an attempt to locate me within that group for some sort of attack. As far as harassment – one may fully communicate, especially in an interpersonal relationship [family, established friendship and those having for whatever reason had a reasonable interactive relationship in the past] via emails, text, voice mail messages, etc. – you can threaten lawsuits, legal action and such but you can not insinuate the “or else” type scenario – that is definitely a crime of threats. Law enforcement will not get involved in back and forth of a personal argument that involves the issue of money, personal relationships or the ending of such but police take very seriously the type of messages that indicate or suggest a if you do or do not do a certain thing, then ____.  One firm example is leaving a voice mail message with the suggestion if someone does not “keep [their] mouth shut …” – you see the or else is implied and that definitely concerns law enforcement. Of course, as with all laws there are nuances much too varied and detailed to discuss here but my husband and I, as well as our support team, firmly believe that no matter one’s own possible life wrong doings, lies and harassment must not be tolerated – sue we will – win or not. We believe, as my Jewish faith demands that those guilty of slander, libel and defamation must be repudiated and punished – banished [in modernity that would equal ostracized] from their community.

As I always mention – in each and every blog posts – due to ongoing/upcoming litigation and book obligations [2013 “Heiress Mommy …The Life Of A Modern Super Woman!“] I am unable to detail with more specificity as to my own situation but I promise that you can look forward to a 100% truthful tell all story – everything about me and everything about those hubby & I have taken to calling the “evil doers“. Now, who should play me in the movie …gal pals think Catherine Zeta-Jones and in mine/their OPINION, my dear Bette Midler as she appeared in Hocus Pocus flick to play the woman hubby calls the “devil’s daughter” – however, I do not want to insult the great Bette with that comparison – after all Midler & I are both really nice Jewish Mothers!

P.S. My DISCLAIMER …above references to certain individuals is my “OPINION”  – Shalom my blog reader darlings and remember the best is yet to come  — keep reading for postings of future victories !!!

July 22, 2012

My Furry Princess …Our Doggy Daughter!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Both my husband and I grew up with dogs as pets – I had dogs during my first marriage [widowed at nearly 21 years] but my husband’s [what he calls] youthful huge mistake practice marriage had none. It seems only after that woman was sent packing on account of unfaithfulness and other bad deeds and later married  her illicit love affair mate, did a pet canine become acceptable in her home …in fact, I named her dog for conversational purposes the F*%k You  dog [you can fill in the letters].  Anyway back to hubby & me – we decided a dog was an absolutely MUST have for our family and so in 2009 Princess Java Argus [AKC registered name] was chosen to be a part of our life.

The timing for getting our dear Java was that we had decided to begin expensive, difficult and what we were sure would be complicated fertility treatments. Never doubting that we would have more children [lost twin pregnancy early after 2003 wedding], we also were sure a dog had to be part of our households. On the advice of many professionals [vets & trainers] the decision about timing was to have our new pet trained and acclimated to life with the Eliasz-Solomon family before babies arrived. Success on all fronts – doggy wonderful and pregnancy achieved. As we now consider adding more children [possibly via a gestational carrier for our remaining embryos], we are also considering adding another or possibly two Labradors to our pack. Just as children have united us even more than already was the case,  having a dog has  been equal in making ours a REAL family.

The history of the domestication of dogs goes back thousands of years with the reasons and conditions as varied as are the many breeds we know today. The first obvious human/dog relationship was for hunting, followed by protection and finally companionship. In some ways a dog family member has been a democratization scenario as royals and all others throughout recorded history seemed to have access and ownership of canines. Who is not interested in knowing what breed is or name of a famous or infamous person’s dog – always an insight into an individual’s lifestyle and character can be found in those choices. The other significant observation about any human is how they treat and care for a dog – I often tell folks that I find it nearly impossible to be close to someone who can not love a dog. For me, Princess Java is so important that those of my friends who are not “dog people” still fret over her on account of not wanting me or my family to be worried or sad – sweet that Java has so many humans to worry about her.

Studies have shown there are many health benefits to owning a dog. A recent analysis of children proved that those who live with a dog during their first year of  life have better immune systems – probably developed by exposure to the family pet. For adults the benefits are equally substantial  …a dog can reduce stress, make one exercise through walks and play and stave off depression with unconditional love and a relief from loneliness. Dogs have helped our brave returning service people with the horrors of post traumatic stress syndrome, as well as people suffering from epilepsy, etc..

My household is quite organized, with many rituals and tasks – Java adapted and is too a wee bit compulsive about routines – our furry Princess wants her morning vitamins, breakfast and walk in a certain fashion and will announce with a slight verbal pronunciation when each meal time should occur, as well as when she thinks it is time to retire in the evening. My husband and I laugh at our pet’s insistence that nothing be moved in our homes …this unique personality trait  became apparent when she was only one year old and our housekeeper moved a Persian area rug to another room. Indeed we are a bit concerned as we become multi residential in the next year as to how the Princess will tolerate such dramatic and grand scale change.

For us Princess Java Argus was the first child born to our glorious union. We take our doggy everywhere [yes Java has been to meetings, banks, salons, etc]  and we are planning  to have her live with us for our year in Europe before the children begin full time school  – in my very weak French I keep explaining to her that she will be allowed to dine in Parisian restaurants as that is allowed there. Our family is also excited that being NYC/NY mostly full time residents by 2013 will afford Java eating in a few Manhattan bistros. We never consider the purchase  of  nor would ever allow into a car, home or anything else without knowing that it is both appropriate and safe for our children and our dog.  My wise adventurous and very creative husband is now keen on and involved in planning a Lewis & Clark type family expedition – with Java being our Seaman of course. After each of us produce at least one or two books, my husband and I want to join with our small 2, 4 or 6 [who knows at this point] children in writing a Travels With Java tome – of course by then, it might be Travels with Princess Java & Kava [name chosen already for Lab #2]. The reason book stores are so full recently of  dog tales  is because the effect on a human life as well as the benefit is so great and so often life changing that prose feels necessary about our canine companions. So I dedicate this blog post to my beautiful, sweet, intelligent, loving Princess Java Argus – who got me/us through some very difficult days when evil doers, lie spewing cheaters and even dangerous types [oh yes, did I mention Java is an excellent watch dog – alerting us to even the smallest noise or disturbance] were needed to be dealt with. Of course, these last three years with Java was one of joy and fun – our pooch is also a  great exercise companion – trying to lift my free weights, joining me on my elliptical trainer and leaning over me on my universal board lifter. The final personal note on this precious dog is that I/we are eternally grateful that G-d directed us to have Princess Java Argus join our family – the best for us and for her is yet to come!!!

I have two P.S. for my readers: #1. The above referred to F*%k You doggy that belonged to the woman my husband has so aptly named “the devil’s daughter” apparently died [to clarify it was the male dog, not the bitch that died] and was replaced –  proving to me that even wicked type evil doers can be loved by a canine companion. And #2.  Our dog’s official AKC registered name is Princess Java Argus Solomon Eliasz – we are paying to have it changed as ours was legally this past January 2012 to Princess Java Argus Eliasz-Solomon …by the way, my genealogist  husband had our pure breed Labrador’s genealogy official completed and framed – go figure.

P.P.S. As always dear readers, I so wish that I could share with more specificity details but ongoing [actually a lot of payback fun] litigation and my book obligations [2013: “Heiress Mommy …A Modern Super Woman Life!”] forbade me from telling all on my blog posts – but trust me, my book will tell EVERYTHING [about me & everyone else]. See you at the bookstores next year my darling blog followers!!!

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July 21, 2012

Hearts Of Darkness

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

In Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, his philosophy of materialistic mysticism  combines the attitude and acceptance that this world is both complicated and awe inspiring. Conrad was, like most of us, a combination of optimism and pessimism – while maintaining the desire to comprehend and possibly even change the darkness into light. What exactly does Conrad’s famous quote “the horror, the horror”   mean to us today as we deal with the continuing almost daily. as well as many yet still unresolved historical atrocities?

Too often and for totally understandable reasons – we who suffer through as observers or even victims of unexplained tragedies – look for logical answers and ways to access the situation logically. Questions of motive or societal structures/problems are brought into every conversation in an attempt to make clear why such things happen. More important is that we search to try making sure that which just occurred will not again.

In my Jewish faith there are avenues toward understanding and forgiveness of/for evil actions. There is also an acknowledgement of pure evil existing – that which can not be accepted nor changed toward good. In Ethics of The Fathers (!:7) we are instructed to “distance ourselves from a bad neighbor, And to not bond with a degenerate person…”. Easier said than done – error in judgement is a common human frailty – dating or marrying the wrong person, associating with bad character friends, going to an unsafe place or event and so on. In my personal life, my husband was wise enough to choose total complete legal disowning and disinheritance and complete separation from evil doers who were threatening to our well being – this was a difficult and complicated process – one which most but not all well intention persons in our life supported. We, of course had the means, motivation and determination to make private our home addresses, install excellent security systems and prepare for a public life where  professional protection would be a part of our daily routines – all costly and time consuming efforts and such that most people can not or do not want to have as part of their life. More times than easily remembered we have thanked G-d after hearing of  others [we ourselves having already been vandalized] tragic familial crimes that we persevered in distancing our family from the enemy [more details in my 2013 book: “Heiress Mommy …A Modern Super Woman Life!”]. Too often people are lured or convinced by some bogus status quo that they must continue contact or involvement with dangerous friends or family – sadly these are far too frequently those people we read about/hear about on the news as victims. Of course, as with this past [July 2012] week’s events in Bulgaria and Colorado, not all victims had the opportunity or choice to not be exposed to evil.

Either as a result of some personal relationship or random or national/ethnic situation, all atrocities are happenstance to some extent. Obviously, as with The Holocaust, Munich Massacre, Bulgaria Tourist Bus Bomb, etc.  –  we Jews being targeted ONLY/SPECIFICALLY because of our faith or Israeli citizenship is uniquely egregious. The idea that any group is killed simply on account of where, how or to whom they were born is beyond the scope  of comprehension – this because there is none of the standard justifications of greed or persecution as motive for these murders. One could say all murder is irrational but who would argue that true self defense is not a rational choice. This brings us back to the effort to explain and access atrocities – why did they do it, etc.?

Of course, we must attempt through investigation and analysis to correct those circumstances that might motivate a person to commit a crime …attend to our collective children and those unwell emotionally so as to prevent for them and for the rest of us a horrible demise. But there should also be, in my opinion, an acceptance that there is such a thing as pure evil – hearts of darkness among us. These perpetrators of tragedy must not be allowed to diminish G-d’s great plan for human love and grace to prevail and thrive here on Earth!

July 20, 2012

How Genealogy Saves Memories For An Eternal Life!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

I am happily married to a brilliant genealogist – I have often explained my own Jewish appreciation for what he does by emphasizing the value of keeping memories alive for new generations. When he and I decided to go through expensive and often difficult fertility treatments to have our twin sons, part of that decision is that my husband so badly wanted children to carry on his legacy and I did as well. We felt that we could create a family together that would honor both of our ancestral lineage and thus give new and continuing life to those that had gone before us.

My Jewish faith is very specific about the importance of the begets …from them came us and so and so on.  The tragedy is that throughout our history so many have attempted and failed [thank G-d] to destroy us and any documentation that we Jews existed. As G-d’s chosen people …that was not to be – we remained and thrived. Mark Twain and many other non Jews have spoken eloquently of the Hebrews major contributions and marks on civilization – all making another de facto assurance that we, the Jews, would always be remembered.

Even though my husband is not Jewish, our children are being raised 100% in the Jewish faith. Additionally, my amazing husband decided that he wanted to legally assume my Jewish maiden name and so on 10January2012 after a costly/complicated legal process he became Chester Michael Eliasz-SOLOMON, as did I and our children – which resulted in making us four the ONLY and uniquely Eliasz-Solomons. We now are seriously considering growing our little dynasty by adding more children …our frozen embryos tempting us to add to the genealogy tree [even if this time it means having a gestational carrier make that possible]. Of course, part of this dynastic effort is ego in that we enjoy seeing our efforts result in worthy prodigy but we are also sincere in wanting to create those type of individuals who are truly worthy of G-d’s grace. Because we became parents later in life – we are blessed with the benefit of time and wisdom with which to raise our darling children.

Genealogy does not always mean acknowledging relatives as any more than tree place holders. Sadly, my husband has had to delete or marginalize some rather unseemly and embarrassing family tree characters [he is now planning an even further effort by listing some loathsome types as merely child #1, #2, #3 in his family tree]  and yet he also had the joy of highlighting a few more distant/newly discovered relatives we are proud to include. This dismissal style of family structure [what my genealogist husband calls “pruning the branches”] is as old as the Bible and certainly rather common in Royal families where illegitimacy or at time idiocy denied entry into the official family tree. As with many issues in my blog posts – both ongoing litigation and my 2013 book “Heiress Mommy …The Life Of A modern Super Woman!” obligations render me somewhat mute on this very interesting aspect of our life story. Suffice it to say it is a glorious and spectacular story – one we believe will inspire all people who are seeking to right wrongs and establish the fine and worthy family of their dreams.

Both my genealogist husband and I believe in the idea of an afterlife defined by our earthy deeds – this part of Judaism is a template for a life well lived – a life whose legacy is not only one of earthly accomplishments but equally of a life where love, compassion and assistance to others was paramount. To this point, it is very important to not only be defined by an accidental blood line but instead to weed out the evil doers and to make good and worthy the family legacy by conscious and decisive familial connections. I have joined my husband in working hard and long to establish a legally recognized [through disowning and disinheritance]  family unique and special – one that includes ONLY those that G-d would grant the blessing of eternal remembrance on account of their good hearts and honorable deeds. When asked if this does not somehow delineate  from the purpose of genealogical research – we readily answer that it does not and is actually what is most amazing about a family trees done with pure intentions – that is taking the time and effort to establish a group of individuals in memory that one would want their offspring to remember and possibly emulate in their own life.

I will conclude with the mention of our beautiful Jewish memorial prayer called Kaddish. It is said by loved ones and is multi purposeful. This prayer helps those reciting it by forcing the reader to reestablish a relationship with G-d despite the hurt of loss. Kaddish also demands remembrance over and over again of the loved one now gone from this earthly world. As I often instruct Jew and Gentile alike – my faith teaches that remembrance truly is a form of eternal life. Remembering  revises the individual who is gone through thought and sharing which often means describing a deceased person with someone they never even knew – so you can see that this means the now passed one can be alive again in conversation and the minds of others.

We are all star dust – descended from the heavens …take time to find and connect those worthy of remembrance in your genealogical personal dynasty. May G-d bless us all with the best connections to the past, the present and the future!!!

P.S.  PLEASE be sure to read my most amazing husband’s genealogy blog @ Stanczyk – Internet Muse …you can thank me later!

July 18, 2012

REAL Friends I have Known And Loved!!!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Making friends has never been a problem for me [in fact. most people I know chide me that I never return from errands without having met someone new] and as far as acquaintances – trust me when I say you would not want to pay my holiday card postage bill. Additionally, there are colleagues, associates, various club members that have been not only hugely supportive but also a  great pleasure in my life. The issue here is really those friends that are actually extended family …the family that one can only dream about – pray and hope for. I have been blessed with those kind of REAL friends. The very definition of friendship is uplifting – that is the desire to want what is best for another and of course,  trust. I work hard to offer that which  is the truest form of friendship – the same as that which I have definitely been the beneficiary of many times.

All my life there have been people [classmates, etc] who have been morphed into my family structure. Most among these are my dear precious best friend, Mark K. and he then was smart enough to marry [shortly after we two met/almost 30 years ago] an amazing woman who would go onto to be the sister I never had, Susie K.. These two people and later their lovely daughters (my nieces) Ashlea  and Lisa did as much and more to make my life wonderful than anyone else in this world. This is NOT hyperbole – it is indisputable fact – the K. family helped save me during a very bad time and have help make my grand life possible.

My husband and I both believe in a large and encompassing extended family structure – striving to help others, share our blessings and offering  support to those in need. The K. family are the prototype for that lifestyle choice …I am maybe their closet family friend but there are so many others my Markie and Susie have helped – counting or enumerating made impossible by the volume and details of this couple’s good deeds. Much of what they did for me, I am unable to detail here but my 2013 book: “Heiress Mommy…A Modern Super Woman Life!” will fully explain just how selfless and generous and important these people have been to me and my husband. Even though our twin sons are, as I am, Jewish – we decided no two people except these fine Catholic people could be their g-dparents – the Rabbi agreed and likewise, our attorneys felt sure these were the perfect legal guardians/trustees for our children [and our sweet Lab Princess Java Argus]. During a particular difficult time in my life – I called and wrote to their parrish priest expressing the feeling that Mark & Sue were the best example of Christianity. Both their sets of parents, Nick, Freida, Dot & the late Sam are also family to me – loving and including me as they would their own flesh and blood. The G-d given and manifested glory of true friendship is long appreciated in my Jewish faith – Ecclesiastes (4:9-10) references the ideal of having a fellow human by one’s side. I often tell friends that I see their love and support for me as a gift and worldly represenation of G-d here on earth.

There are others …dear gal pals – whom I call The Goddess Crew [which I have trademarked by the way – thinking Goddess Crew product line some day]. These lovely ladies have given me another branch of extended family by blessing me with the company of their spouses, children and family. Too many to list but there is Ana B., Marina I., Connie R., Donnamarie B., Nancy C., Tammy P., Sandy & Laura S., Chrisi W., Amy D., Miriam B., etc., etc., etc. [these are the type of girlfriends who take your calls 24/7  &  listen no matter what …just ask my Ana B. about our daily 5am chats & how when she was in Italy last year we prearranged call times each day]. Others also important in my life are those developing friendships via shared political and professional interest – Margaret, Diane, Maxine, Kim V.,  The social media world has brought even more amazing special folks into my world  – the writer Erica N., Kristin C., Zac C. Abby, and so on. I can not forget the fellows  – dear Mike S., Jim, Norman, Ron, Robert M. – each having looked after me quite well and who I care for as extended family. Let me not forget the distant cousins/in laws who are friends – so too few from my dear husband’s family but there is darling Dorota, Robin & Kim to be grateful for. You see what I mean – my holiday card list is HUGE!!!

So let me end with a reminder – 15 August 2012 is National [U.S.] Best Friend Day. No matter where in this world you may live, take that day [if not before] to call, write, email or text your friends. Do NOT leave unsaid what you love and appreciate about your life companions.

P.S.  As I will when [G-d willing] the awards are given for my books or subsequent movie for “Heiress Mommy…Life Of A Modern Super Woman!” …let me state here – if I left anyone’s name out in my above lists of friends – I apologize. If you subscribe to my blog – you can tap my photo under “Chat With Tereza” – tell me I left you out & I will gladly edit this post because YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS…!

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