Hair ♀ Sperm ♂ Quotient … Why Both REALLY Matter

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

SomethingAboutTCameron Diaz demonstrates well in the movie  Something About Mary that hair♀ and ♂ sperm can be comically combined … in my own life apparently my nemesis are much concerned with both of these body parts. I know – my life is unique and I REALLY love it. You see there has been quite a bit of internet chatter in reference to my hair ♀ and my hubby’s ♂ sperm from The Miscreants™ ” and THE REAL Devil’s Daughter™ and who my attorneys/law enforcement suspect are their cohorts; even in Court my hubby’s REALLY unattractive ex-wife made an issue out of my darling’s REALLY virile ♂ sperm by having him questioned as to how he got moi – his 50+ year old wife pregnant. By the way, my Court  buddies tell me hubby proudly displayed two thumbs up when questioned about my miraculous gestation status. Of course, we had marvelous technology and the most amazing fertility specialist assist us in achieving the goal of REAL parenthood so late in life – my blog, The Feminist Fertility Toolbox™ post of 31 July 2012 details and gives solid advice on the how-to for others wanting to do the same. Anyway, back to the obsession with my REALLY well coiffed hair ♀ and my husband’s super ♂ sperm – the envious bottom dwellers have gone nearly mad trying to figure out how I look so damn good and got pregnant at my age … luck, brains, determination and unlike them, REALLY good genes is probably at least part of the answer. Speaking of genetics – I REALLY hope evilness and stupidity is not easily inherited by grandchildren –  bad enough most [adult] offspring of The Miscreants™ seem equally low status as their parents, G-d forbid their grandchildren are as well … I personally find the multi-generational breeding of bottom dwellers to be quite frightening. Oh well, what can one say – maybe not all bad qualities get passed down through the generations … one can only hope and besides the other half of the genetic mix might just overcome the loathsome qualities The Miscreants™ could pass on to a grandchild/great-grandchild. The REAL fact is that unlike members of THE REAL Evil Doers Club™ neither myself nor my husband wish ill on others … unlike our enemies who put my babies in jeopardy with a *“evil eye”, we do not do likewise with their innocent unborn grandchild, as only G-d can be the final determinant of destiny and justice. The lack of hubris and innate awareness as to the L-rd’s universal oversight when one wishes ill on another is stunning in these middle of the middle bottom dwellers – call it ironic or justice or happenstance but more often than not,  life teaches harsh lessons to those determined to unjustly harm others. For now it is enough comfort for me that REALLY good people – like so many in my life – raise wonderful children and amazing grandchildren to brighten this world and make my daily existence full of joy.  I digress, for here the topic I want to explore is what quotients of all sorts mean and how you, like me, can benefit from such configurations. A bit of math and a lot of intuition is involved – trust me, you will REALLY enjoy reading my take on this topic my darling readers.

The term quotient is usually about math formulas – derivatives of two factors that then influence or determine a third. Everyone has heard of I.Q. [Intelligence Quotients] and I wrote about Pregnancy Klout in my blog post of 24 July 2012 – Klout is the quotient that those of us famous or infamous have as a determinant accounting of popularity and hence marketability [mine has been consistently high – shows you that all press – even lies and misrepresentations by members of THE REAL Evil Doers Club™ ” REALLY does $‘$ pay off when you are REALLY worthwhile like myself and my husband]. Other quotient status include Social I.Q. – how well one handles public interaction and personal relationships and there are many more types and venues that involve a comparative of factors that will result in the end result or applicable quotient derivative. Somehow my hair ♀ has gotten its very own quotient … my darling full time hairdresser and others I use when traveling equal mention on social media sites. Wow – great right? Truth be told, I like many ♀ women, have decided that only professional hair care makes one look REALLY well turned out on a daily basis. By now you know that a few of the female♀ miscreant types live in Michigan – I know they have hairdressers there because I went to a few and hubby’s home henna rinsed looking ex-wife lives in Pennsylvania – which for the most part [until mid 2013] has been my majority residence and thus I REALLY am sure there are hairdressers in that state. Why the hell these loser chicks ♀ do not take advantage of such services that they so obviously need is REALLY beyond my comprehension – even more confusing is why the concern with my hair ♀. Oh wait, sorry – the answer is pure and simple – they are nearly sick with envy about my appearance [which I work diligently on each and every day through exercise, nutrition, beauty/health treatments]; the female ♀ miscreants are so full of jealously as to deny any other ♀ woman’s REAL attractiveness, whereas as I am humble and admiring of other women ♀ who like myself REALLY take care of themselves and those with simple intrinsic beauty. I am not normally this vicious about other ♀ women – in fact I see beauty in most but damn it – these creepy chicks ♀ are so REALLY unattractive, and even the one who gives it a try mostly appears manic in Facebook photos, that one can not help but comment on their true ugliness. Just a side note – someone showed me, hubby and friends one of the Michigan miscreant holiday Facebook profile pictures – ALL in the room said OMG – she is so trying to imitate me [her half turned profile pose is almost exactly as my last blog post “Chat with Tereza” photo (until a few days ago, seen here) and her newly styled  hair, although not as well coiffed as my own, similar in style and even her cheap makeup appears to mimic my own obviously more expensive cosmetics]. What is it they say about imitation being a form of flattery – thinking this (M.W.) Michigan ♀ chick is just unstable and just a wee bit fixated on me.  Sad really – don’t you agree – that my very existence has invoked such obvious angst and frustration among the lesser types. Oh well – so be it. Yes I admit to not being without sin here in that I have been known to do a great imitation of hubby’s buck teeth, long nosed, low class speaking, nasal voiced/snorting [I swear – even my hubby’s family law attorney heard this bitch snort] ex-wife … I have been asked by and made a promise to  my gal ♀ pals that during our August 2013 REAL luxury cruise for my Goddess Crew™ [to celebrate ALL the gals ♀ in my life and promote my end 2013 memoir book/movie deal] I would do — 10 minutes routine of THE REAL Devil’s Daughter™  before the professional entertainment takes the stage for our final evening at sea banquet. One of my favorite audiences is at the Court where my husband’s ex-wife of nearly 20 years kept lying and attempting to get “child” support not REALLY owed her for adult offspring – my supportive friends there REALLY seem to love it when I do my hubby’s ex-wife mockery. Seriously, when I first met the ex-wife, I thought “How the hell could someone as attractive – both inside and outside – as my husband ever be married to this person?” … others seeing, hearing and knowing her have expressed exactly the same sentiment [including but not limited to her new found chubby Michigan nurse buddy].

Tereza Jan 2013Lets talk about hair shall we? My own nutritionist and other professionals writings suggest that mental health illness, along with physical maladies can manifest as a presentation in “bad” looking hair … hair that is REALLY unhealthy in appearance and I have to say [have seen many photos as REAL proof] that all three of the female 50+ adult members [yes there are junior versions as well] of The Miscreants™ ” have very straw like, unnatural kinky for Caucasians, rough looking hair. Hmm – just saying. Now I readily admit that personally I have zero hair styling talent and thankfully professionals have always been available to make me look good but still there have been a few times in my life where even my limited self styling abilities had moi looking much healthier in the hair department than loser miscreant chicks no matter a now and again visit to a salon they might have indulged in somewhere in their middle of middle neighborhoods. All my professional hairdressers and my dermatologist tell me that I have been blessed with genetically REALLY good hair … hubby and I have speculated for some time that poor DNA might be at the core of THE REAL Evil Doers Club™ ” maladies, physical lack of attractiveness and mental problems but who knows, it could be environmental or something else that will be made transparent in upcoming civil and possible criminal litigation situations we are REALLY pursuing against them. I admit to being blessed – having at one time and now planning the same soon, a professional hairdresser actually stop by my home almost daily and always prior to special events … the last nine years it was almost daily visits to my dear goddess friend’s salon for styling, color, conditioning, trims, etc.. Even when traveling I arrange in advance for professional hair stylist but this post is not about my advantages – all of which I am grateful for – it is instead about the total insanity that the jealous envy of my nemesis has perpetrated on social media concerning my hair ♀ … mocking that I REALLY do have a professional hairdresser at all times and even suggesting I wear a wig [which I do not]. Oddly, my own Philadelphia suburban hairdresser has long time clients who are not fashionista or well off or have book contracts like myself … in other words only the loser miscreant females seem to think it an oddity that one frequents a  hair salon or has a consistent hairdresser in ones life. Oh well, you darling readers will see for yourself when trial photos and my book pictures are available … although my own attorneys think The Miscreants™ ” women will be advised to “spruce up” by their lawyers in advance, lol. Oh yes, one more thing – the NYC trichologist [medical hair & scalp specialist] I have seen a few times advises that cheap cocktails and beer guzzling is not good for skin and hair … hint to women ♀ of THE REAL Evil Doers Club™ ” and their young daughters [yep – them too – I have seen REAL photos of these junior miscreants gals ♀ throwing back/consuming lots of  booze and of course THE REAL Devil’s Daughter™ own daughter was sanctioned at Drexel University for drunkenness of which I am in possession of records I subpoenaed on that and other matters].

All right – now we will discuss the other quotient topic at hand [no pun intended] – that is my hubby’s REALLY attractive and REALLY virile ♂ sperm. I am serious … the lab that did our fertility testing determined that my man’s swimmers were very healthy, vibrant, had great motility and were REALLY [at least now – hint – more in my book] genetically sound. You see on account of our ages [hubby in 50’s but 5 years my junior] and because we suffered a tragic miscarriage when first married in 2003, we and my doctors decided both my ♀ eggs [which thank G-d I was still able to produce with medication assistance] and my husband’s ♂ spermatozoa should be tested prior to IVF/IVM procedures. Even the medical professionals were impressed … we two are blessed with REALLY excellent genetic health even at this stage of our life. Ok – back to my darling lover boy’s ♂ sperm and the glory of my being able to finally give him the children he always desired and deserved. Expensive, time consuming and often uncomfortable – but we two were determined to have children; I will detail all REAL scenarios and facts in my end 2013 memoir but suffice it to say here that nothing and no one was going to stop our quest for a family. I will share that my husband considers our children his ONLY offspring and he has made it a REAL legal permanent fact that they are his ONLY REAL children – anything else was a youthful error is how he explains it and he thanks G-d the legal system provided a venue to make it a REAL fact [legal disowning, 100% legal disinheritance and legal name changing, et al.] that those children born to our marriage are his ONLY children. Never mind that for many reasons and at many times he actually has doubted that his ex-wife’s three children were his biological offspring – no matter because now, thanks to our/our attorneys efforts, the law says they are now and never again can ever be named as the children of my husband. I know my readers will be very interested in that part of my book – much to learn for many. On a funnier note, I got a call last year on my  iphone that began with “Hello, is this Tereza? We are calling about your husband’s ♂ sperm.” – Well of course I responded with my usual quick humor “Why, what has it done now?”; it was actually the medical facility where we stored hubby’s “item” in case we wanted to fertilize more eggs [we actually still have more already frozen fertilized eggs for which we are now considering a gestational carrier to help us add to (my personally carried/gestated) our twin sons as siblings].

For now – my considerably attractive ♀ hair and my hubby’s great ♂ sperm are safe and REALLY content – looking forward to a REALLY blessed and happy life. I think you will want to keep reading my and my husband’s blogs because our story continues to get more and more interesting. Thankfully, our REALLY inspired life is never detoured by the cacophony of ridiculous and hateful rhetoric and so hubby and I – as always – are moving forward in our productivity. By the way, I hope you all enjoy my various hair styles … obviously not the most important thing in life but it is still nice to be REALLY well coiffed and it is definitely a plus to have REALLY active ♂ sperm at our REALLY nice  homes. In my memoir Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! I will include some of my own REAL hair photos and possibly a few of The Miscreants™ female REALLY unattractive hair photos as well … you my darling readers can be the judge but for now I will continue to REALLY love my hairdressers. Stay tuned – thinking hubby and my combined hair and sperm quotient might just get its own popularized meme soon!!!

*Note: While this, like some of the others I have written, blog post is meant to be somewhat humorous and yet still informative … do not think the idea of REALLY evil people, who my husband nor I ever harmed or even cared about, attempting to harm us – defame, threaten and harass us – is not a serious matter. As you my dear readers know we are pursuing multiple REAL lawsuits against The Miscreants™ and law enforcement is REALLY actively investigating possible civil criminal charges against them. As a Jew, I believe that the idea of what we call a Kineahora (“evil eye”) was issued against my babies by these devils [other cultures have similar attitudes and terms for such disgusting acts], which is not to be considered trivial … the REAL fact is that such loathsome tonality about my pregnancies and children could have manifested into REAL harm – more REAL details in my book. For now G-d and the legal system will deal with my enemies!

Advertisements

One Comment to “Hair ♀ Sperm ♂ Quotient … Why Both REALLY Matter”

  1. The bottom line is, jealousy can be a dangerous thing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: