My Heterosexual Love Affair with REAL Women!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

Sappho_and_Erinna_in_a_Garden_at_MytileneNow don’t get all excited my darling readers … no salacious or sexual escapades will be discussed in this particular blog post. Mainly because there are none to describe in relationship to myself and other women. This is not a Lesbian tutorial nor a dismissal of those who are – in fact, a few of my best friends are in same sex relationships and I worked tirelessly for/am thrilled that this nation is finally going to be a REALLY equal place for them to live and love.  No I am not gay but I REALLY do love women. But oh baby – betcha my title got many REALLY interested. Glad I caught your attention because I know you will enjoy the whys and hows of how I am in love – platonic of course  – with many, many REALLY fine women. For those of you who read my blog regularly or know me personally, then it comes as no surprise that I am blessed with the most amazing female companionship – REAL family and friends, colleagues and associates of the female gender who I adore and they me. I have even gleaned the benefits of women I now consider REAL friends via social media sites like Facebook and Twitter – women who have defended and protected me from slights or others evilness and have now become part of my life forever [G-d willing]. I am part of a club – that which is a gathering of REALLY worthy females and I am thrilled. Sit back and read carefully as I regale you with all the delicious  but never lecherous  details of my gal crushes – the famous and infamous among them.

Indulge me with a wee bit of divergent topic discussion here – still REALLY relevant to the idea being reviewed in this blog post however: One of the most ridiculous blogs I  have ever read is a Chicago gay guy’s diary which mostly includes who he sleeps with, what faux couture clothes he wears, what he is eating, how his cat behaves, how much he disdains his Mother’s lower middle class suburban lifestyle [which apparently includes and he hated shopping at Boscov’s] – all with the poseur “I” as primary genre. Rarely a political, sociological nor other than self word in his blog – in fact even when finally writing after 3 years about his dead sister, only how it affected him is detailed, despite the fact that he, his Mother and sister reaped nearly $195,000 each from a wrongful death suit after that poor (apparently nearly now) forgotten 20 year was killed.  My psychiatrist gal pal believes possible mental health issues [for which this person was indeed once hospitalized for as a teenager] are at play. Hmm … why bring that up here when the topic is my gal romances? Simple you see – I will never write such a narcissistic obvious neuroses laden diatribe in simple minded diarist form as the loser offspring of the woman who is my husband and my nemesis when what I claim to be describing is my caring for others. You know his kind – works as a waiter but insist on describing himself as a “writer” – despite never having a REAL book deal or any such prospect – relevant to my topic here in that this creepy guy also is constantly berating  and mocking those he has [gay] romantic affections towards.  So now with that off my mind … I do the opposite of Chicago legally disowned/disinherited, fatherless criminal vandal [oh my – how did that slew of hints come out of my lap top???] and champion my same sex crushes. Bet you dear readers thought my referencing The Miscreants™ was over – no, no, no but lawsuits beginning soon and law enforcement seem to be wrapping up investigations – now we will be sharing REAL news articles and such with you all – here and elsewhere. However thought a bit of comparative analysis is appropriate as one of the loathsome offspring of THE REAL Devil’s Daughter™ is indeed gay – as my husband and I are huge supporters of the LGBT community, we are disgusted that an individual such as this self indulgent and REALLY delusional person could be thought to represent our gay brethren. Relevant here too is that the so called “friends” females of  THE REAL Evil Doers Club™  that this Chicago fellow is involved with  – these loathsome women really nothing more than cohorts in efforts against myself, my husband and our REAL family. These women by just about everyone aware of them determination are certainly not females worthy of admiration by any REALLY accomplished woman – they are the polar opposite  to the amazing women I love and am loved by. By observing these creatures, one can easily come to understand that not ALL of my gender are to be championed. Nothing genuine about such pretenders and definitely no core value to such women. But that is REALLY for times to come and trust me all will be made public – my REAL women friends will be by my side in triumph and victory then too.

Well now lets us get back to moi  – shall we? I am a flaming – some might say obsessed sexually with my REALLY sexy husband  – heterosexual female.  But you must understand that if I were a Lesbian – I would still be REALLY crazy about the women I will describe here – only I would be dating them with any luck. In previous blog posts like, The Goddess Crew™ [26 August 2012],  I shared my blessing of REAL lady friends – women near and far who are my constant support and glory. Like all young girls, there were for me many schoolmates, club friends, cousins and more to bond with in my youthful girlfriend style – the sleep overs and constant bestie types companions all through primary school years and even into college and graduate school. The friends that were bequested on account of a familial relationship equally important and into young adulthood and newly married status female compatriots always served as my stability. Lucky me to have guys as friends too but the girls and women who were there to cuddle, to commiserate, to run to my side – oh those sweet darling ladies of my life who still pick up the pieces when I break a little and I them – these are such a REALLY sweet refrain in my life. Intimate is the only way to define those relationships between us gals because many times it is just that – intimate and REALLY personal. Women will clean another if ill, help coif and dress without embarrassing, feed and administer care if their friend is ill and counsel during struggles. Again, I must be 100% truthful – I have men who have done the same for me but no more REALLY platonic intimate relationship can ever exist then that between two women who REALLY love one another. So yes my readers – I have real “crushes” on my gal pals – love, love, love my lady friends in so many ways and so very deeply – no equivocation about it – these are REAL love affairs in my very full and REALLY blessed life.

Now lets chat about my head over heels admiration and at times almost groupie like affection for the famed past and present who share my XX chromosomes.There are  writers, poets, historical figures, politicians  journalist, activist and others in my fondly held in my heart  repartee – so many women  to admire throughout history and into present day modernity. I fall madly in love and force everyone around me to listen about my respect and fondness for the women of the Bible, the leaders of nations that I enthusiastically read about like CleopatraCatherine the Great, Golda Meir, etc., etc.. In other posts I list each tome that capture my attention concerning these women. I fall into a trance while following life stories of famous, well known and those more obscure women who created and discovered so many contributions to this world. I have had a plethora of “Oh my” moments – wanting to know everything about these women and not to forget their names – all this and more has been a REAL love affair for me. Not all my gal crushes are long gone – there is our late Jacqueline Kennedy, Coretta King, Secretary and hopefully future U.S. President Hillary Clinton , our magnificent current First Lady, Michelle Obama, my feminist template Gloria Steinem and all the female members of the United States Supreme Court. Two of my Jewish “sisters” in the political world must be remembered too – Representatives Debbie Wasserman Schultz [like myself a breast cancer survivor] and the brave courageous Gabby Gifford – both women deeply connected to me and I do love them very much. Likewise, I fawn over artists and entertainers – some not main stream like Marina Abramovic and others quite popular like Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler and the like. I am especially fond of my equally litigious – sue the slanderous and defaming bastards similar to me, Catherine Zeta Jones … yes indeed, this beauty and her husbandman Michael Douglas are like myself and my husband – no such offense should go unchallenged is our shared philosophy with this star couple. Why even my JAP “sisterSarah Jessica Parker has me smitten … talented woman who struggled to become a Mother [like myself having achieved REAL pregnancy and now considering gestational carrier to grew our wonderful family] and NYC dweller are two things we soon will have in common. I admire and workout to Beyonce, Adele and the more Avant- garde Nora Jones. I can not live without hearing classical music performers , such as violinist Lindsey Sterling. Being a  fashionista  type and filling my closets with REAL couture has me adoring designers like Diane von Furstenberg [like myself – she is a REAL Jewish Princess] and Donna Karan , Stella McCartney – both also Jewish ladies [bet you did not know Linda McCartney was Jewish and therefore so is daughter Stella]. Not being huge TV viewers in our homes leaves me pining for the erudite news provider and commentator Rachel Maddow and her similarly astute female news types – including Andrea Mitchell who I had the pleasure of meeting many years ago. I can not leave out entrepreneurial types like Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg and Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer – so much in the news these days.  Being a life long athletic type and sports enthusiast I am also a huge fan of women like American ulta runner Diane Van Deren  – I have been a runner for almost 45 years now and she/others inspire me each day. There are my lady sports heroes that can not go without mention – recently retired basketball coach, Pat Summitt, among them. There are so many women who I adore … I respect and admire – far too many to list here.  Sadly, I also have my “if only we had met ladies” like dear lost too soon Nora Ephron, who I wrote about in my post, Losing Nora Ephron [27 June 2102] and others I will now never meet but always honor in memory. There are others that my heart and mind simply can not help but love – the young Malala Yousafzai who was shot in Pakistan for her blog and desire to be educated – now happily back to school and still a voice of power. Girls and women throughout history making a difference – bravely and sweetly changing the world – how could I not fall in love over and over again ?

Now here is my most recent creme de la creme moment concerning gal crushes. I have always adored, admired and respected the actress Ellen Barkin … I am a HUGE fan. I follow her on Twitter and am determined to have her at one of my book signings if she will honor me by accepting my invites – NYC of course – when my end 2013 memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! is published. Anyway, I retweet her often and last week sent her a message of affection and noting that I frequently ask myself what would EB do or say? OMG!!! She responded with wonderful and very caring advise. Obviously, I saved that – my newest talisman to take out when the times are tough. By the way,  I woke my family in those early a.m. hours excitedly saying “Ellen Barkin sent me a Twitter message!”. My dear husband and later that day, friends and colleagues were happy for me – as they should be because Ms. Barkin is a REALLY great lady – and I REALLY love her.

So I end this post with respect, affection and admiration for all the REALLY great broads of the world – past and present. Sending each my virtual xoxoxo and wishes for G-d’s blessings because maybe, as the song says, It’s A Man’s World but the lyrics also include “but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl !”!!!

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