Archive for July 16th, 2013

July 16, 2013

Trayvon Martin — Our American Son!

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

 220px-TrayvonMartinHoodedWhen my dear husband and I decided to go through very expensive, time consuming and often stressful fertility treatments in our fifties in order to become parents, we also choose to do sex selection. For various reasons – one being that my husband always dreamed of having sons – we felt it would please us both if our first babies were boys. Again, I need to remind my readers as I have in previous blog essays, of the fact that my husband legally took my last name and agreed our children would do the same. Similar reiteration is appropriate here in restating that my husband legally disowned and disinherited his entire family … except for a few dear distant cousins, we felt his family neither safe nor worthy to be a part of our life. This brings me to the extreme differences in our backgrounds: Whereas I come from a well educated, accomplished, business owning, erudite, well traveled, progressive, Liberal East Coast – some might even say “elite” family – the opposite is true of my husband’s Michigan family. His estranged family members are narrow minded, racist, very anti-Semitic, semieducated, colloquial, working class group  – not pull yourself up by the boot straps types at all. In fact my husband is the first to have a Masters Degree and own his own company in his family and those are only two of the exceptions in his life compared to those who he feels sad to be biologically related to or know in any way. Other differences between my husband and myself are that I am Jewish [as are our children], with I am proud to say maternal Albanian Muslim ancestry – my husband is Catholic. What is astonishing is our commonalities … love of books, REAL travel, the intellect and even what might be considered the mundane in style, art, fashion, cars, et al ..  Surely you are wondering what all this has to do with the murder of Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman’s trial? There is much in our upbringing differences that REALLY relate poignantly to this American tragedy.

Please attempt to understand my idea that my husband – considering his unfavorable lineage and ability to overcome that background – is my “canary in the mine” – you know that which miners placed first to determine the REAL circumstances at hand. As such when my dearest pronounces something to be racist – I without question accept that as a true and REAL fact … nothing in my husband’s all white prejudiced filled Midwest family would preface him thinking these things as an automatic response – more likely for myself as consequence of my family tonality and my late Father’s civil rights activism. So it was we wept together when Trayvon Martin was stalked and murdered and now it is we are sharing disbelief and outrage as George Zimmerman was found innocent on all counts in a Florida courtroom.

Studying law [finishing classes soon, G-d willing] and having my husband be my study companion allowed us the purview of discussing the legal aspects of this case … our own attorneys and family/friends who are lawyers equally interested in weighing in. Most, if not all of us, deciding the Florida Stand Your Ground Law to be an overreach and unnecessary – in fact dangerous. Nuances abound in any presentation of standards within jurist prudence but law school 101 is definitive in determining that one can not pursue  even when REALLY attacked – another person. Conclusion seems readily understood when one understands that there is no legal justification for what George Zimmerman did that night when he followed Martin and then killed him during what he claims was a struggle.

My husband and I are blessed with many African American friends – many professionals and quite successful. I mention this class factor to emphasis that we worry about their sons as racism seems still a factor concerning their very ability to live safely despite their living in upscale neighborhoods and attending private schools. Trust me my dear readers  – all of us as parents need be fearful as young teenage boys are unpopular no matter their particular demographic. What determines any groups alienation among the other in a community is often determined by whims and speculation brought about by nonsensical momentary historical factors. As we learned of the not guilty verdict, my husband asked me if our Jewish sons might some day be targeted on account of who they are – no way to know and neither can we be confident that our great nation is REALLY equal and provides REAL justice for all. The solution is this conversation must go on and in that we can honor the Martin family and allow Trayvon to have his short life gift America a worthy legacy for all!

Note: In my soon book, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! and the follow up Life Journey of Heiress Mommy, all the REAL details of my family life and why my husband and I care so deeply about all the Trayvon Martins will  be shared!

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