Archive for December, 2014

December 15, 2014

Reindeer and Feminism

by Teréza Eliasz-Solomon (HeiressMommy™)

TerezaHoliday2012Most years I have gift packages not only sent but readied for delivery during the holidays … Food types that include candy, nuts and such. Always ecumenical as being Jewish with Muslim, Catholic and other among my many family, friends and colleagues has me well versed in the sensitivity of December festivities. These are not gifts of the personal nature but instead that which one sends or takes along to places and people who are part of ones life in ways important considering tasks and routines … The hairdresser, doctors, cleaners, banks, offices, etc.. So each year my car or that of my driver is loaded with these prepared goodies bought at one of my favorite gift venues and there is always a roll of labels which I address at each stop according to the relationship … Appreciation, fondness and the like. I am actually quite proud of this now many, many years practice I believe I originated to a certain extent.

A stylist friend gifted me what I call my Louis Vuitton reindeer antlers because they are the same beige and light brown combined colors as that designer’s ionic logo luggage, pocketbooks, wallets, etc. that I have owned for years. This rather unique head decor includes a bit of white fur and a bell here and there as well. Being a very secure woman who enjoys frivolity I decided that at each stop during holiday season a few years ago to place this adornment on my always professionally coiffed hair – no shame in wanting to garner an affectionate holiday chuckle or two I am sure you agree.

A few years ago my wonderful estate attorney told me I needed to attend a bank meeting concerning a rather large sum that would be distributed to me in coming years via a planned inheritance by my late parents … As this was a late Friday afternoon meeting, unfortunately my estate attorney gal pal would be flying to a family event in Florida and she felt as I just gotten A+ in banking law there would be no problem in my going alone. In addition to law school classes, my husband and I were equal partners in a business we had recently begun and I had no discomfort handling such meetings. So off I went dressed in my now plentiful business attire. I knew that a wealth management bank official who I did hospice volunteer work with at one time would be there so along with the goodies holiday gift package described above, I brought along a small more personal present for my lovely acquaintance.

Out of my car on a cold December late Friday afternoon … Gathered my briefcase, the two gifts and decided what the hell – on goes the LV reindeer antlers. My hospice volunteer friend greets me with hugs and thanks for small holiday gift I brought her, I am ushered into a boardroom with a long oval well polished wood table around which are seated four men – bankers and officials. Handshakes finished I am shown to chair at head of table and my foodie gift gratefully accepted and placed in center of long table – I accept the coffee and offer to take my coat. So it is the meeting begins – there is the get to know me chat part and somehow it is mentioned that my husband is well known computer expert, we have started a company, I decided to finish law school, go through extreme fertility treatments to have children, I am a writer working on books to be published asap and hubby and I are a feminist couple – he having legally taken my last name. All there seem impressed and respectful of my place at the head of any table … However – here it comes my darling readers – at one point when I complained about length of time bank is projecting for distribution and brought up my knowledge of and concerns that the banking industry might find it beneficial to keep such a large sum to gain use of it a bit too long, the young man to my right chuckles that I do not have financial concerns because “after all you are married to a high income earner” and “therefore should not worry“. Well now needless to say or maybe I do need to describe that I turned to this young man, leaned over and shaking my index finger explained that under no circumstances was he or anyone else to take into consideration my marital status in relationship to my financial issues. At that very moment I heard my antler bells ringing and then sitting back asked why or when was anyone going to mention I had them on? Answer was pretty much they thought I knew and wanted to wear them during the meeting. Patronizing or just polite not important but there is a moral to this REAL life story … Especially for my women readers:

Ladies when you are at the head of the table and know what you are talking about – learn about and study the subject in advance – it does not matter what the hell you are wearing in the end!

P.S. At a recent similar meeting that I could not attend due to scheduling, my husband was asked if he was married to me … When he proudly said yes, the woman facilitating the issue at hand assured my hubby then there would be no problem as she knew me and trusted my judgement. So you see things are improving for women in many ways but ladies you have to insist on it – even when wearing reindeer antlers. Happy and Blessed Holidays  to everyone … Especially we feminists & those who love us, respect us & never care if we are wearing “reindeer antlers”!

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