Reindeer and Feminism

Most years I have gift packages not only sent but readied for delivery during the holidays … Food types that include candy, nuts and such. Always ecumenical as being Jewish with Muslim, Catholic and other among my many family, friends and colleagues has me well versed in the sensitivity of December festivities. These are not gifts of the personal nature but instead that which one sends or takes along to places and people who are part of ones life in ways important considering tasks and routines … The hairdresser, doctors, cleaners, banks, offices, etc.. So each year my car or that of my driver is loaded with these prepared goodies bought at one of my favorite gift venues and there is always a roll of labels which I address at each stop according to the relationship … Appreciation, fondness and the like. I am actually quite proud of this now many, many years practice I believe I originated to a certain extent.

A stylist friend gifted me what I call my Louis Vuitton reindeer antlers because they are the same beige and light brown combined colors as that designer’s ionic logo luggage, pocketbooks, wallets, etc. that I have owned for years. This rather unique head decor includes a bit of white fur and a bell here and there as well. Being a very secure woman who enjoys frivolity I decided that at each stop during holiday season a few years ago to place this adornment on my always professionally coiffed hair – no shame in wanting to garner an affectionate holiday chuckle or two I am sure you agree.

A few years ago my wonderful estate attorney told me I needed to attend a bank meeting concerning a rather large sum that would be distributed to me in coming years via a planned inheritance by my late parents … As this was a late Friday afternoon meeting, unfortunately my estate attorney gal pal would be flying to a family event in Florida and she felt as I just gotten A+ in banking law there would be no problem in my going alone. In addition to law school classes, my husband and I were equal partners in a business we had recently begun and I had no discomfort handling such meetings. So off I went dressed in my now plentiful business attire. I knew that a wealth management bank official who I did hospice volunteer work with at one time would be there so along with the goodies holiday gift package described above, I brought along a small more personal present for my lovely acquaintance.

Out of my car on a cold December late Friday afternoon … Gathered my briefcase, the two gifts and decided what the hell – on goes the LV reindeer antlers. My hospice volunteer friend greets me with hugs and thanks for small holiday gift I brought her, I am ushered into a boardroom with a long oval well polished wood table around which are seated four men – bankers and officials. Handshakes finished I am shown to chair at head of table and my foodie gift gratefully accepted and placed in center of long table – I accept the coffee and offer to take my coat. So it is the meeting begins – there is the get to know me chat part and somehow it is mentioned that my husband is well known computer expert, we have started a company, I decided to finish law school, go through extreme fertility treatments to have children, I am a writer working on books to be published asap and hubby and I are a feminist couple – he having legally taken my last name. All there seem impressed and respectful of my place at the head of any table … However – here it comes my darling readers – at one point when I complained about length of time bank is projecting for distribution and brought up my knowledge of and concerns that the banking industry might find it beneficial to keep such a large sum to gain use of it a bit too long, the young man to my right chuckles that I do not have financial concerns because “after all you are married to a high income earner” and “therefore should not worry“. Well now needless to say or maybe I do need to describe that I turned to this young man, leaned over and shaking my index finger explained that under no circumstances was he or anyone else to take into consideration my marital status in relationship to my financial issues. At that very moment I heard my antler bells ringing and then sitting back asked why or when was anyone going to mention I had them on? Answer was pretty much they thought I knew and wanted to wear them during the meeting. Patronizing or just polite not important but there is a moral to this REAL life story … Especially for my women readers:

Ladies when you are at the head of the table and know what you are talking about – learn about and study the subject in advance – it does not matter what the hell you are wearing in the end!

P.S. At a recent similar meeting that I could not attend due to scheduling, my husband was asked if he was married to me … When he proudly said yes, the woman facilitating the issue at hand assured my hubby then there would be no problem as she knew me and trusted my judgement. So you see things are improving for women in many ways but ladies you have to insist on it – even when wearing reindeer antlers. Happy and Blessed Holidays  to everyone … Especially we feminists & those who love us, respect us & never care if we are wearing “reindeer antlers”!

Does Miley Cyrus REALLY Matter?

My husband and I are both feminists – each deeply concerned about what we believe is the REAL growing war on women, both here in USA and around the world. Our philosophies in no way means either of us want to dictate choices to the female gender … Free to be as one wishes should rule the day. This includes expressions of beauty and sexuality for women; however, as my wise husband stated after seeing news reports about the Miley Cyrus VMA performance: “This is a case of women making their position in our culture more vulnerable and diminishes women’s values therein !”   [see why I adore this man].

I am frequently reminding folks that business comes after the word, ‘show’ in reference to the entertainment industry. Profit is the assumed motive for any product – so if it sells, well now then it makes perfect sense to do it. The faux outrage about moral standards in reaction to vulgarity is frequently misplaced – shut the television off, do not go to see the film, do not buy the music, etc. is my standard advice. As far as role models for our children – my husband and I are that   and only those we decide as such for our children – not stars or sports figures. True, I worry about those youngsters without parents to guide them and insist the one common denominator of school take up that task.

My REAL fear is that young women are defining themselves singularly by appearance and sexual desirability. This syndrome can be delineated as a consequence of movies, television and magazines representation of the female ideal. We feminists struggle mightily to teach an alternative as possibility for life where all aspects of life prove a healthy and fulfilling direction. Having it all means attending to and developing all parts of your person. Mind, body and soul need tending to and females are lessened by suggestive demonstrations like that of Ms. Cyrus this week – not because it was sexy but instead because it was simply not entertaining, just offensively vulgar. True art that includes a grown up woman being desirable must combine respectful and tasteful representation of the full female gender. This “twerking” behavior has the potential to put young women at risk when they try to emulate Ms. Cyrus and the young women are not in a committed relationship. In today’s world, sometimes even a committed relationship is not enough protection for a woman who is attacked based upon her sexuality. Ms. Cyrus do you really want to be the root cause for another young woman’s misery when she attempts to emulate you in these public outlandish vulgar expressions?  I wish it did not matter.

P.S. In my memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life ! and follow up book, Life Journey of Heiress Mommy, all the REAL details of why my husband and I are so supportive of women’s rights will be shared. In the mean while, remember your mother was a woman!

Lucky Feminist Me !!!

Somewhat difficult to determine all the reasons why – the blessing of good fortune, happenstance, circumstance, right place at right time or just possibly what I reap, I have sown scenario but the men in my life are feminist. Yes my darling readers either REAL feminist or at the very least respectful of my being one. Come to think of it, the men that I feel the most closeness to allow for the full scope of who I REALLY am – at times completely in charge, other moments very much in need of support, still others where – well not often – I throw myself into their arms [real and theoretically] for protection and directive oversight. Best of all worlds is what I seem to have. Asking why or how moi got so damn lucky? Hmm … probably a combination of there being no other option, a bit of plain old luck and putting out there that which I expect to get back.

Please do not think this post is going to be another blah, blah, blah tutorial others of my ilk often write in an effort to dictate the life plan of women and their guys – nope, it is my REAL and honest descriptive self analysis and a portion of my own  hopefully inspiring life story, along with what else is relevant in historical and current terms, that will somehow help the ladies and gents reading this get to that perfect balance where REAL respect is achieved. Here is an aside – both myself and my REALLY feminist husband, who if you read me regularly or know us personally, are aware legally took my last name and agreed to have our children do the same – are angry about the state of women here in the great U.S.A. and around the world. In her new novel The Woman Upstairs [a MUST read], Claire Messud writes about “the furies” – that being simply the furious tone we women should have concerning the still oppressive and often dismissive attitudes toward us despite education, earning capacity and such. Pissed off is what her main character is and hubby and I think most women should be – if not about ones own individual circumstance, then toward the other women less fortunate and certainly undeniably oppressed status to various degrees. We women are far too often the worst enemy of ourselves and others of our gender – less supportive of another woman is much too usual the posture seen in the work place, politics and community. Is it jealousy or fear? Not sure exactly but the lack of REAL connective and unified presentation against misogynistic attitudes is daunting to me. Of course, there are the absolutely amazing efforts by women to continue that which my beloved feminist Mother’s generation began … Still fighting to pass Equal Rights Amendment here in U.S.A., working for decent wages and health care here and around the world for women and girls, those striving to elect more American women to political office and even to get the National Women’s History Museum finally built in Washington D.C. – to name just a few of the ongoing and long sought after items involving women. Additionally, there are famous and well placed women attempting to enlighten and raise not only awareness but funds to help our gender – just this past weekend Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna and other entertainers performed and sponsored the Chime for Change event in London to raise the consciousness of the world through song about justice, health and education for girls and women everywhere. All in all there is a REAL effort but we gals need more definitive action by everyone to get it right – to the place where gender REALLY does not matter any longer.

Being our own worst enemy surely applies to women’s current problems – if you want it all, then do it all – that is if like myself, fortune has smiled on you through education, etc.. There are our sisters with no REAL choice … place of birth and other factors rendering them incapable of having choices and so the rest of us must step up and do it – yes, make not only our circumstances and successes doable but be sure legislation here and government actions around the world insure the well being of all women. Dear G-d … when I hear women spout nonsensical things like “I am not a feminist – I love taking care of my husband and children” – well me too and he for I but that does not in any way excuse ignoring the REAL problems of women being denied choices in all areas of life and without any equivocation does not pass for reason to claim ignorance about the growing apparent recognition of things like sexual assaults in the United States military and more similar ongoing egregious actions against women. Listen folks, I bake, I love my family, I am a bit of a high maintenance Princess type but I also handle business and finance for my family and often friends, I am involved in politics, am a writer, athletic type and many more things but what I am not is foolish enough to allow society to define me – then why would I ever allow that to be the case for another women? I ask the ladies reading this to remember that all are affected by laws and tenor of community – her today babe, you and your daughter tomorrow in an oppressive world. To the guys reading this, my hubby is a REAL man who is not afraid to look after the homestead quite well, being a researcher and brilliant writer while doing so – and when someone offends or attacks his woman [me] he is a lion defender of his brood – no question about his manhood, trust me on that. What matter is it if man or woman does this or that task – we are each the better for the others accomplishment and only by working in unison will a family, community, country and the world get better, healthy and more equal for all!

P.S. In my memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life!  many details about my late Mother’s feminism will be shared – how she told me it began as her personal outlook on life, etc.. For now please take a look at the picture connected to this blog – it is a dedication that my husband and I are endowing for her at the National Women’s History Museum, which I hope you all will consider making at least a small contribution in honor of a woman you REALLY love and visiting once open.

Vagina Crime Scene

Ever tuck a  zygote into bed, brush its teeth, give it a bath? Nope – you never have because you can not take a simple cell grouping anywhere outside its gestational host. I know – you are thinking Teréza is just being silly, vulgar, offensive and far too glib about the “sanctity of life“. I am NOT intending to give offense but what I am determined to do is highlight how utterly ridiculous and unscientific the so called Personhood Laws being passed by legislators in  many U.S. States REALLY are. Listen ladies – here is a REAL fact: every time we have unprotected sexual relations while still and sometimes even not getting our menstrual cycles routinely, we can get and often are getting pregnant in that those good old swimmer spermatozoa and our eggs meet, connect and fertilize but that does NOT equal a person. No implantation occurs and even when it does may not gestate or begin cell division – hence no person exists – no potential person is happening in your uterus. Now here is the REALLY frightening part – you then get your period and it is not stretching these insane and arcane ideas about “personhood” to imagine that being punishable by felony laws. Yes my dears – arrest, tried and incarcerated because oh baby, if they find out that your sweet ass did anything to deter that full gestational happening from coming to live birth fruition – you doll are in handcuffs.

If you dare think I am exaggerating this scenario, ask Regina McKnight who in 2003 was sentenced to the reduced sentence of 12 years for “child endangerment/abuse” in that she “caused” her twins stillbirth from cocaine use. The law that was used to convict this woman states that a Mother causing death of a “viable fetus” can be prosecuted on homicide charges with possibility of life in prison as sentencing guideline. Causes they say – who determines what “causing” means exactly is only one concern we should all be focusing on when contemplating the implications of these anti-woman draconian laws.  Is not wearing a seat-belt and then miscarrying on account of an auto crash to be deemed neglectful endangerment and reason for homicide charges, how about smoking that cause high blood pressure, the issue of caffeine [coffee / tea / energy drink] also comes to mind as our Obstetricians warn not to consume too much; there are other situations that can result in ruptures of the placenta – such as risky extreme exercising and then we have things like sexual acrobatics that result in a fall or G-d forbid the pregnant lady goes out to fetch the morning newspaper during a ice storm and slips, only to then miscarriage her fetus.

OK – here is something even more egregious, more extreme and more dangerous than the personhood of zygotes theory. Yes – MORE than even that purely misogynistic and predatory idea – it is that so called “Pro-Life” advocates think my husband and I are guilty of genocide because we went to great expense and effort to achieve pregnancy late in life via IVF/IVM and some fertilized eggs  [by the way my own 50+ eggs and hubby’s 5 year younger than me, personally contributed sperm boys] did not get born. Never mind that as I explained at the beginning of this post, that happens routinely without reproductive assistance. Allow me to quote [paraphrase] these idiots: “If embryos are humans, then fertility clinics are death camps.”. This for me being Jewish is my absolute all time favorite bullshit analogy – you know when someone pulls THE Holocaust card out to prove their humanity; for me that ends the conversation because the REAL Jewish alive children that the bastard Nazis slaughtered were fully formed outside their dear Mother’s bodies – breathing, crying and more when the evil devils murdered them. How dare anyone ever compare a miscarriage or pregnancy termination procedure to a Jewish child being gassed, hung or Jewish infants being torn apart by their limbs.

Now I have – as a law student – the REAL solution: let us make all neglect, all denying of REALLY good nutrition , health care, housing and such to pregnant women a felony offense. That’s right – the officials and communities that do not provide all needed for a full and successful gestation of each and every fetus MUST be prosecuted for child endangerment. I demand equal law under our U.S. Constitution for zygotes and fetuses – any institution that turns away a pregnant women in need of that which will help her achieve a successful live birthed baby is to be considered complicit [aiding & abetting]  in that result, if not fully guilty of a crime. Sound crazy? Ask Ms. McKnight who just got released from prison after serving 8 of her original 20 year sentence – and in case you are interested, she was not released on account of wrongful prosecution in consideration of the original death to fetus by “child endangerment” – no, instead her lawyers managed to prove that her still-birthed twins perished as a result of a bacterial infection [which overturned her conviction] and not her drug use. If you think my analogized scenario is far fetched, then you might also want to chat with Melissa Rowland, who was arrested after one of her twins was still born and it was decided that occurred because she had refused a C-section.

To conclude this crime scene tutorial, I say you can be against choice for women in relationship to their right to carry or not to full term their pregnancies – of course, I REALLY believe it is none of your business, especially when termination is decided on to save the life of the Mother. What you must not be allowed to do my fellow Americans is make choice a crime nor the accidentally loss of gestation a punishable offense.

 … WOW – I feel like the “doink-doink” sound from the Dick Wolf television drama, Law & Order should be heard at this point in time  – well my darlings – hit the quote here & you can hear it now. Stay tuned – as always, I will have much more to share and this and many other topics. Be well, be happy and read my blog as often as you can – comments welcomed!

Birthing History!

I was planning to begin this blog post by listing and detailing the current horrors being perpetrated against females throughout the world … acid in the face for perceived sexual promiscuity, bullet in the brain for going to school, vagina probed before being allowed to terminate a life threatening pregnancy, a 2012 U.S. political candidate suggesting rape not REAL if one gets pregnant during that act, etc., etc., etc.. My goal was to shock you my dear readers and then highlight why all REALLY caring people should care that this is National Women’s History Month in U.S.A. and that last week we celebrated International Women’s Day.  Here I sit in my home study – while my family is peacefully sleeping – accompanied by my usual companion, the BBC radio overnight broadcast on my beloved NPR. If you know me personally or follow/read my blog regularly, then you surely are aware that my life (to say the least) is one of REAL serendipitous delight and angst … by that I mean that so often the oddity of that which occurs or presents itself in my daily life is uniquely timely. And so it is in these early morning hours as I sit at my desk composing this post that the fine British voice announces that the next story will be on a sensitive topic concerning the nearly 30, 000 yearly female genitalia mutilation that are being performed in England amongst certain demographics of its immigrant population. No concentration possible now – not as I listen to details that I have read about before but remain still shocked and disgusted by on hearing how even infant females are being mutilated in the name of religious and cultural mores and perceived familial rights. Of course, the report ends and BBC moves onto politics and the world weather report. Hmm … REAL question is – how exactly do I have my thoughts move on now? You all know that I will find a way no matter how mournful I am now feeling because oh baby, I have lots to say on REAL feminism and REAL equality.

Many of my previous posts reference that both my parents were feminist … my Mother, Mary Rose L. Solomon born in 1914 being a early ERA supporter, NOW member and devotee of Ms. Magazine. My husband Chester M. Eliasz-Solomon legally taking my family last name and having our children do the same – more REAL testimony as to my pro-woman existence. Another REAL truth is that my erudite husband writes and comments almost as frequently as I do about the current attacks on women – the world situation and here in America where the extremist Tea Party types and GOP continually vote against important issues concerning women – like the recent controversy on Violence Against Women Act that they fought to sideline. So yes I am REALLY a lucky born, bred and living well the life of a REAL feminist – I am CEO, CFO and more of all things concerning my and my husband’s ventures. Fond of saying we are one another’s saving heroes and recipient heavy lifters in times of trouble – my husband rescues me and I him equally. Both of us are deeply concerned about the REAL current and seemingly growing “war on women“.  Why the push back now? Surely most modern men and women embrace REAL equality of the sexes and so the issue remains as to exactly what is causing so many to want to ignore the REAL increasing problems of violence, marginalization and lessening status for women in the world today. Economics most probably a part of some determined to take away the gains made during the last half century until today where more and more women are receiving professional degrees, heading Fortune 500 corporations and such – still no REAL grass roots efforts to secure our rights  or enact legislation and force Courts to find in favor of women in litigatory arenas. Now do not get me wrong – us gals are part of the REAL problem. We want it all but not to REALLY do it all … I wrote in another blog post that I do not do the “damsel in distress” routine. While yes I am surrounded by REALLY supportive men – men who without their presence in my life, most things would not be so easily possible. – there is to be stated and considered the caveat that I am equal in readiness to complete all required tasks and that my friends is REAL liberation.

I love all things jurisprudence … I took to studying law like the proverbial “fish takes to water“. I adore that the Supreme Court of the United States of America [SCOTUS] has three amazing current female members. Still why is it that the Equal Rights Amendment [ERA] I referenced at the beginning of this post  by mentioning that my own Mother who died in 1987 was supporting for years still has not passed into law – why is the journal our dear brilliant Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg assisted in founding, The Women’s Rights Law Reporter, still battling for that to occur? Well you are saying …blah, blah, blah – no my darling readers – no excuses any longer acceptable – no complex explanations will be tolerated. We need – no make that we must get laws on the national and international legal tomes making women REALLY equable and acts of violence against women REALLY punishable to the full extent of the law. Each of you must come to the full realization that equal rights for women liberate men as well – to that point ladies – no bullshit from us can any longer be tolerated either. You get what you give … can not be free to be you, if men are not also free – in other words, claiming as my husband’s ex-wife did the inability to work [in order to contribute her fair share to her other daughter’s discovered only part time college attendance] after her 20 year older daughter was killed but then partying and traveling only weeks later, is just not kosher. Be REAL or be denied is what we females must make our mantra … fair is fair as the saying goes and so we step up and we demand equability and then we live it for REAL. When a woman uses obfuscation of reality and seeks consideration solely on her status as a woman, she deters those of us striving and willing to do the work needed. Stay at home, work daily or a combination of both – all are valid feminist situations but not having it both ways … do or don’t do ladies but do not get in the way of REAL progress toward protective equal status for women. So my dear ladies  – excuses and justifications just will not cut it any longer – we need to move on, move up and rule all the days of our lives. While pushing forward remember that during the 2012 U.S. election cycle there was a rather popular poster that had these words: “Women brought all politicians into the world and we can vote them out of office too!”.  Yes indeed, we gals birth the world, make history and so we can make it REALLY equal once and for all time … here, there and everywhere REAL women and the men who REALLY love us must unite to make our place in this world safe, secure and REALLY ours!!!

P.S. In my finally soon published & long anticipated tell all memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! many REAL details of my feminist causes will be included. For now I ask that you to join me, Meryl Streep, Hillary Clinton and others to support and finance the building of Washington D.C. Women’s National History Museum – which I am proud to say, as of today, I am listed as a participating & contributing member – my first donation was made in honor of my late feminist Mother, Mary Rose Solomon, with my love & gratitude!!!

Note: May I recommend reading the new book by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In – you can thank me later!

Would a REAL Feminist Like Me Pose for Playboy … You Betcha!

A few years after my first husband passed away in spring 2001, I was meeting someone for dinner at Philadelphia’s  wonderful Capital Grille restaurant in Center City. When I arrived my dinner companion was chatting with a group of gorgeous ladies … introducing me, these gals were sweet and complimentary toward me. Off to dine in the perfectly lighted to look your best dining room – you see this fine restaurant smartly has designed lighting that is quite flattering. After a delicious meal, I went to use the ladies lavatory … OMG – not the same lighting there and I audibly began bemoaning the fact that my 40+ face looked very different than I was told I did in the dining room. At that point one of those very attractive ladies that my diner companion had previously introduced me to joined me at the mirror. Having heard my concerns, this gal assured me that I looked just fine and then asked in a very polite fashion my age. I never lie and so told her 48. Wow she said – then expressed admiration and an invitation. Yes – An invite to come dance at the famous REAL gentleman club in my fair city of brotherly love where she worked. “Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!” I exclaimed. Why is my response worth noting you ask? The answer is that being REALLY multiple degreed – considering myself a seriously intellectual and well  read feminist would have precluded my being grateful at such a suggestion when I was in my 20’s or 30’s but then in my late 40’s – oh baby – such a nice offer. Of course, I did not desire nor need to take this generous offer seriously and I have no REAL dancing talent anyway. But still I will discuss and explain here why REAL liberation – REAL feminism means all choices for we women should be doable and equally acceptable … that is only if each is REALLY our own choice.

My erudition prone dear mother and I both joined N.O.W. at its inception – likewise, we mother and daughter team subscribed, read and gifted Ms. Magazine early on. In fact, my amazing mother used her so called maiden name as a middle name long before it was fashionable. My lineage of feminist thinking is solid – even my Bubbe was an atypical Jewish grandmother. Bessy Solomon was well read and REALLY smart … not necessarily as great a cook as other grandmothers but a force to be reckon with and admired. I have written in previous blog posts that my civil rights activist father, Abraham, was also a feminist – he thought no differently about my responsibilities nor opportunities as his only daughter, than he did for my two older brothers. By now my dear readers are aware of the fact that my second husband legally took my last name and have our children do the same and so for that and many other reasons, including his constant concern about women’s rights, Chester Michael Eliasz-Solomon is too a feminist and he has no problem being married to a REALLY strong and capable woman [this time, lol]. My best friend for over thirty years is a guy – my amazing “brother” Markie treats me as his complete equal and my many other male friends, colleagues and acquaintances treat me likewise – as an equal. One must ask if I am just lucky or do I just pick REALLY liberated men to be a part of my life or is it that I will not tolerate less than being treated equal? Answer probably a combination of all those factors. Still there have been times that one or more males have attempted to marginalize me – ignore and/or challenge has been my response … I have shared in other posts that I do not accept being the “damsel in distress” in meetings or anywhere else. My blog has also referenced more than once the many men who have been my heroes – rescuing and protecting me from REAL enemies – most recently from The Miscreants™.  Let me not be remiss here – women have also been my heroes and I theirs … gender not a prerequisite to REALLY supportive relationships. My being a feminist has not precluded dependency and need for help from men at certain times … more than can be enumerated here are the occasions when ,my husband, my best friend Mark Kronberger, my daily companion and driver Jim Baker, my male associates and colleagues have come to my defense – they have each unselfishly assisted and guided me. The difference between how my guys and those other women relate to far too often, is that those in my life never make me feel the lesser for their presence nor do I them. My male interactions are a sort of “right back at you” give and take in that I receive and I offer to/from these fine men the same in our codependency relationship status. The last few years have blessed me with a publicist, attorneys and quite recently writer/co-author Michael Charton – all guys who make my success possible while caring about me personally in a REALLY committed fashion. Far too many men to list – even acquaintances [some met through social media sites] that have meant so much to me and helped me in many ways. As it is with women in my life, these men have brought REAL comfort and joy to my daily existence. Truth be told – I experience absolutely no difference and no REAL gender gap between the ladies or the gentleman I have surrounding me. One must question whether that is on account of my own equality outlook or theirs – either way, it remains an informative aspect of my life that gender does not define my most important relationships. There is never any question as to the motivation of my male friends – I am VERY married and so there is never an issue as to the purity of my male friendships; you can easily understand that my own lifelong sense of dignity forsakes any male/female role confusion and that eliminates the possibility of faux or misunderstood intentions. Ladies – it is our job to make our position known – never let your own insecurity lead to a questionable friendship or work relationship with a man. I never feel objectified – not allowed in my life and no woman should accept less than a REALLY respectful and equal platonic bond with the men she includes in her world. Obviously, this also means we must all – men and women alike – fight the current and increasing misogynistic attitude/REAL war on women here in the United States and worldwide.

All right – now lets get back to Playboy Magazine possibilities. In my previous blog post I mentioned how my hair seemed to be developing its own meme on the internet … much chatter, especially from members of THE REAL Evil Doers Club™.  Well now – that is not the first obsessed with me utterance from that group … a few years ago chubby legally disowned/disinherited Michigan nurse suggested my attractiveness [according to her friends on Facebook] was on account of all  “the work [I] had done”. Never bearing false witness – I immediately and happily responded by listing each and every medical, dental and cosmetic procedure I had, to date, completed. The requisite braces were 2x for me, breast lifted after in duct situ carcinoma surgery, a wee bit of knee [which were a little chunky from life long sports and running activity] and buttocks liposuction and then (most recent at that point) facial Thermage. I assured the Michigan idiot that more would be done ASAP and I would forward details and photos. Now let me assure you that REALLY good nutrition, no drugs, minimal alcohol, constant exercise, attention to skin, oral health, etc. + meditation and prayer all contribute to my internal and external well being and appearance. This is related to a potential magazine pictorial because after all I have been through, if after my memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! is published, any REALLY classy periodical deems me a lady they want to appropriately and respectively include in their pages – I say YES! I must qualify that affirmative by saying there are still post pregnancy multiple must dos on face and body that will come first on my agenda – then we can take tasteful and hubby approved photos for Playboy and such!!!

P.S. Seen here is a REAL travel photo of moi … swimming in the Mediterranean Sea Resort near Tel Aviv Israel. I know – quite distant but all dear hubby will allow me to share at this point. I am working on convincing my darling that a close-up body photo of me is perfectly acceptable. Stay tuned – much “more” to come!!!

XX Chromosome is REALLY Shining in the 113th Congress!

Bella Abzug (D-NY, 1973-77) famously stated, “This woman’s place is in the House- the House of Representatives.”. Apparently America agrees more now than ever because January 2013 saw a record number of females sworn into both the House and the Senate. In total 101 across both chambers of the new 113^th Congress were women – 20 in the Senate and 81 in the House presented a progressive and comforting tonality as the oath of office was administered by Vice President Joe Biden. Still I am troubled that there is still an awe struck denotation that so many women are in the United States D.C. legislative body … should not 2013 mean that is the norm and not some WOW factor? As my followers/readers are quite aware of by now – I am a unabashed feminist; my last blog post, Atlas with a Vagina [31 December 2012] and others prior detail my determination about and concern with the state of XX chromosome in all arenas. None-the-less, my heart was gladdened to see so many of my gender in the photo (shown here) celebrating becoming a part of this great nation’s lawmaker process this month in Washington D.C.. Still we need to examine the REAL history of women in U.S. national politics – it did not start recently and it must be furthered in the future – men and women alike should champion inclusion of both sexes in the magnificence of what our Founders saw as a unique peoples Republic, in order to have a REAL democracy that thrives and prospers for all Americans.

1916 saw the first woman serve in our United States House of Representative – that was when Jeannette Rankin of Montana took office. Four years after Rankin won that election the 19^th Amendment was ratified – finally giving women the right to vote nationally. In 1922 Rebecca Felton of Georgia became the first woman to serve in the U.S. Senate.  Between 1935 and 1954, thirty-six women entered Congress … this America depression and war year’s period, followed by the post WWII upheaval in our nation’s fabric, presented many challenges for women lawmakers but they prevailed and helped guide and sustain our nation.  The era 1955-1976 was tumultuous and life altering for all Americans – it ushered in phenomenal changes and a new brand of female politician that included the wonderful first African American lawmaker, Barbara Jordan. More modern times gave us Geraldine Ferrara [also first female Vice Presidential candidate who I had the honor of meeting during that Mondale campaign], Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, our dear brave Gabby Gifford and first Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi to name just a few woman in Congress. Almost 100 years of D.C. female presence as lawmakers – so why are we in 2013 still struggling to get women elected to Congress or the White House? As the saying goes, “the devil is in the details” – I REALLY believe that not only male chauvinism, misogynistic attitudes but equally my own gender’s reluctance to own our ambitions for a political life is why there is still, in 2013, such awe and OMG attitude about the 101 females in the 113^th Congress. The issues must be examined, dealt with and thwarted that are keeping us gals from being the norm in all legislative bodies – at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.

My writing makes clear that I do not indulge in the “damsel in distress” persona – it gets one nothing but temporary compassion and never results in REALLY important outcomes. A woman needs to be an equal partner – willing and able to pull her own weight and hold down the fort in a singular and determined fashion. We women insult our men by attempting to utilize our feminine ways to get support or be cared for  – this is often unintentional or inadvertent but no matter the etymology, the end game is we females lose out because no REAL gain is had by being a less than an equal person. My strong feminist opinion relates to politics in that often the elected female is what I term a “mommy politician” … you know the type – the women who runs for office on account of some single child or family oriented issue. Not that there is anything wrong with that impetus but far too often there is no REAL ideal of wanting to be in elected office for the same reasons men give – which is because we want it bad and we desire to be engines of major change in legislative offices. No pause nor hesitation about goals should deter females from full throttle attempts to run for elective office – we women must take gender out of our life plan equation and that includes plotting a future in politics.

In her book Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives, psychiatrist Anna Fels astutely explains that women need to actively imagine their own destiny as so little is mapped out for them by society. I was blessed with parents who made clear all things were possible – no gender indication because I was their daughter; in fact that sort of nonsense of delineating by gender as to what my tasks and accomplishments were to be was not tolerated. Another book, No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power, by Gloria Feldt, the former director of Planned Parenthood suggest that because girls are socialized to be reactive rather than proactive they grow up to be women not use to asking for what they want. I REALLY am concerned that we women wait for and very much need affirmation in order to overcome obstacles and push forward to our goals – listen folks, while affirming comments are quite nice and I admit to being thrilled that I get more than my fair share of complimentary comments, I do not depend on it to motivate me. Damn the flatteries – know thy self and go for it is my motto. Why any woman would think the men in our life want to spend their valuable time and energy coddling us at every turn in order to get results at home, in the workplace or anywhere else is beyond me – that being said, nothing I have accomplished would have been easy without my dear erudite father, my supportive feminist husband, my best friend – a guy, my many other male friends and colleagues but they all realized I could and I would do the heavy lifting no matter what circumstances were present. Trust me – more than once I have been rescued by my guys but I have often been the rescuer as well; likewise, my gal pals and I have rescued one another. Oh my – dear “sisters” – please grow up – be all that you can be and never ever let your gender be the reason for not succeeding. There REALLY is no valued currency in being submissive – feigned weakness is not attractive. Do not tolerate discrimination but neither allow nor promote it by your own feminine posturing. Let us look forward to the day when no specification of the sex of members in Congress will be so important as to make bold headlines in my beloved New York Times!

P.S. In my end 2013 memoir, Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life! my own lifelong political involvement and an actual run for office will be explained in REAL detail. Additionally, I have been asked to develop/work on a series of novels that grew out of an NPR 3 Minute Fiction Contest I entered last fall … while not winning, my Potus Tara Edward-Saks™ fictional U.S. President got attention – hubby and I trademarked the name/idea and now I am working on the story of our first female Jewish POTUS [yes my darlings, The Miscreants™ will be included – their delusional low thinking minds apparently believe strong women who are REALLY making a success in life (like myself & many of my readers) are “narcissistic”  – psychologist advise me that is on account of their self loathing & jealously … oh well, stay tune for many more REAL facts about these ridiculous insignificant characters]!

Fighting Intolerance And Hate With A Heart Full Of Compassion!!!

By now all my readers and followers must know about the great joy last January 2012 when my husband legally took my last name – which I did as well and likewise OUR children. Much paper work, great expense and a day in court was well worth us becoming the uniquely legally only Eliasz-SOLOMONS on the planet.  Touching was the judge’s reaction to our application – when he questioned my husband and I on the issues for our name change  – this kind judge thought it lovely that my husband wanted to honor my amazing special Solomon family, have OUR children that we went through difficult costly fertility treatments to conceive have that legally combined last name and he seemed sympathetic to my husband’s plight of wanting to no longer have the same last name as those “evil doers” [by the way, now self claimed on Facebook but definitely NOT trademarked] my husband and I reference so often. We shared EVERYTHING about ourselves that day in court and were moved by the support and understanding we received. Each new driver’s license, passport, bank statement, legal document, etc. that was officially produce with our new last name was thrilling – we even saved envelopes from greeting cards, invitations, thank you notes coming from charities, the Obama campaign and such that were addressed Eliasz-SOLOMON. Also comforting – especially for my husband [reasons in other blog posts and ALL in my 2013 memoir] was that our birth certificates are now changed – so for my husband he is no longer that person legally that his birth name denotes him as being. Now only thing left is to have our sweet Labrador, Princess Java Argus be registered again on her AKC association, as she was listed three years ago as a Solomon-Eliasz [on my must do list asap]. What does this have to do with fighting intolerance and hate? Well my darling readers – in one of my previous post, 16 August 2012, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Misanthropes And Miscreants In [MY] Everyday Life!  I mentioned my involvement in many causes [don’t worry none of those pest are being discussed in this post but let me assure they actually are reading my blog – yes they can read surprisingly – we know because “Internet Ninja” says they now are attempting to be like me with prayers & photos [1 each] of their rather limited life accomplishments on fb – however they get words mixed up – like mistaking  phrase “believed to be true” for “accused”].  In that post I wrote about being humbled each time I enter my home study seeing the plagues, certificates and awards that have been so graciously bestowed on myself, my husband and my parents/family. Problem is need name change on these lovely mementos … thinking our young children will be saying things like why is that a different name Mommy? On some even my unique Albanian origin spelled first name is misspelled  – you can see here that my hero Morris Dees of  The Southern Poverty Law Center wrote Teteza [sic] – OY VEH – but anyway the real issue is that myself and my husband are determined that as moral, religious, feminist we two will fight against ALL prejudices so that our children and others are not enslaved nor denied their rights.

We are very ritualistic in our home – awake daily at 4:30 a.m. – starting with pray, breakfast, family time, doggie walks, emails to be answered, exercise, personals, and then a husband and wife meeting – going over that day schedules, etc.. The additional daily task seems to somehow always include a chat about the injustices in our morning papers, online messages and such – we are not big TV viewers [in fact no one under 3, except for our Lab is allowed TV watching] and so except for our home gym TV, each day begins with the imperative to read the world’s events. Mostly outrage is the result – as both my husband and myself are devout feminist, these morning conversations are full of concern for the ever growing hateful misogynistic tone toward women around the world, including here in America. We are people deeply religious – myself and our children Jewish and my husband Catholic – while different, the same in that we two see a moral imperative that justice for all must be the order of this world and so every evening when grace is said at our family dinner table we include [in both Hebrew and English] a special request for blessing of this troubled world. Chester Michael Eliasz-Solomon writes a blog mikeeliasz.wordpress.com, which often addresses the issues of injustice against many and I am proud/thrilled to say on issues concerning women. His Facebook and Twitter pages are FULL of very pointed and specifically directed postings about those in society who would deny women their rights – my husband names names and is brave in his determination to make mine, any daughters G-d might bless us with and all the many women relatives/friends he cares so deeply about, a life without constrains dictated by men.  In fact, my amazing husband often seems almost more vitriolic than myself on issues of women’s rights. In many of his wise and erudite blog posts my husband presents salient explanations through his political references of why we all must be involved in protecting women, especially in this anti science GOP atmosphere. Let me assure you that it is a constant goal for my husband to highlight injustice, hate and intolerance – one that occupies much of his writing life and a good part of his considerable intellectual energy these days. We both believe that the world is on that proverbial slippery slope backwards – back to subjugating women to the dictates of faux moral standards. My husband inspired – no make that insisted I write the blog posts, 6 May 2012, 2012 GOP War On Women!!! and my very popular, 19 June 2012, I Say Vagina & You Can Too!!! – not only because he is a devoted feminist but also on account of believing any injustice is a lead to more marginalization of many others. Sort of asking for whom the bell tolls kind of question – with the answer, it tolls for thee as a reasoning for why everyone must be concerned no matter your own life categorization.

What bigger injustice is there than denying health care to people … making it affordable to only a select group and even then making profit motive and costs more important than medical care and outcomes. I wrote a blog Why ACA is Obama’s FDR Moment! on 30 June 2012, the day The Supreme Court upheld it as constitutional. I was very involved as a volunteer and proudly displayed in that blog post [and here again] my signed framed certificate from President Obama for my efforts via emails, meetings and such in passing ACA. In fact, my husband and I sat in his home office with laptops, iphones, ipads and the rare day time TV on as the SCOTUS announcement was made – a friend of mine running for Congress was there and as she relayed the great news only seconds after the announcement, I  feared hacking because the news was such a welcome surprise. Hubby and I did a lot of amens and exciting shout outs that afternoon  – even friends not believing in so called Obamacare called or text that day with congratulations as they remembered  my hard work on this effort and saw the pride my signed Presidential certificate brought me when visiting my home.

The Jewish faith is the world’s template for ethics, morality, justice and tolerance … birthing the Christian faith from its tenants. Sadly, not everyone got that memo and so we are faced today with extremist on the right side of the U.S. political spectrum and ignorant faux Christians that pontificate hateful, offensive and ignorant diatribes that are anything but of G-d. In fact, just recently I was sent the apparently newly faith based posting from a social media page of what is obviously a antisemitic posing as a informed Christian. Trust me – I have REAL extended family, REAL friends and even REAL priests and REAL ministers in my life who will agree that this miscreant’s pointed “Thought For Today” was that of an uneducated and offensive person. There are so many like this woman who think they know G-d and yet are completely disconnected from REAL faith. Blessed am I to have many individuals – of ALL faiths – who do REALLY understand G-d’s words. I have maternal Albanian Muslim heritage, was raised and am raising my children 100% Jewish and their father/my husband is a scholarly Catholic – a saintly man who recoils at this misunderstandings of others who claim his faith but no nothing of its true meaning. In my blog post, Why Being Jewish Makes Me Untouchable Or Judaism 101 For Dummies!!!  [4  August  2012], I discussed Judaism difficulties in that it is an erudite and quite sophisticated faith – not for the faint of heart in my opinion. My gentile husband is amazed and says impressed with my daily Torah and Talmud studies – as well as, my daily effort to live as best I can the obligations and dictates of a good Jewish life. Of course, husband and I are equally impressed by our many REAL extended friends and family who live a daily existence of REAL Islam or Christianity or other REAL religious philosophies. In the book, Many Paths, One Destination, the author Ram Ramakrishman examines compassion and understanding as taught/seen by many of the world’s religions – differences and more often commonalities. Unfortunately there are too many among us who are hypocrites – never adhering to the prescribed ideals of decency that most major religions and even some (what I call) bogus online pay your $ and get your DVD “religions” promote [oh no, there I go again referencing one of the miscreants – sorry]. Still as long as REALLY honorable – any legitimate path to tolerance and compassion should be welcomed by us all.

Judaism demand courts of law be established … from our ancient beginnings until now, we Jews are involved in the justice system. I belong to and have raised funds for The Innocence Project. For how can a nation be great if anyone of its citizens are unjustly prosecuted? My late and very wise father often spoke the idea that better ten guilty men/women go free, than one innocent person is unfairly convicted. Another slippery slope and our nation’s potential tragedy is privatizing and thus making our prison system a profit margin business. No greater task faces us than to have REAL justice done for ALL people here and around the world – a court system without prejudice is the only solution that should be sought. My feminist/hates all injustice husband encouraged me to have my memoir 2013 book Heiress Mommy … A Modern Super Woman Life!  published for many reasons – one of which is to promote REAL justice through some parts of my life story that involve such issues.

One of my future blog post will be A Political Life – probably during the RNC and DNC conventions – in that I will further discuss how my parents and then/now myself and my husband participate in, donate to and keep informed on all political aspects of this nation and others. I actually am a registered Democratic Committee person in the area where we still own a home in Pennsylvania and I even ran for office a few years ago but withdrew when we discovered I was pregnant – even so I got almost 80 votes [will show that surprising document in political topic blog post]. I have a dear gal pal running for Congress this year – a devout Catholic whose baby gift to our twin sons were two beautiful hard back books on Judaism – of course, I told her she must inscribe [again] with Congress Person Auntie when she wins in November. Our first term Obama inauguration invitation [seen here] is framed and place proudly on our piano, along with other mementos and photos. Husband and I are doing everything possible to help assure a 2nd invite to this event in celebration of the two term Obama Administration. This is relevant to a post on tolerance in that  we sincerely feel ONLY the Democrats at this time can guarantee that ALL Americans will have equal rights and opportunities – that acceptance of differences concerning race, religion, sexual orientation will be maintained in this great nation.

For me – informed by my Jewish faith – compassion does not mean to subjugate oneself to denigration. Indeed self preservation and a protective stance against all enemies is mandated by G-d, as each of us is created as a gift meant to survive the world’s struggles. Judaism does not promote a martyr complex and as my very wise Mother warned, “Choose carefully that road, as ultimate martyrdom can only be done well once”. Instead the perfect goal should be a sharing and caring for others as you would yourself but never at all costs – instead as an equality that allows for the self and others to prosper. Real compassion means allowing those good and worthy to equal in tone that which one wishes for themselves. Never to be confused with sacrifice – sharing is the path to REAL justice. In my home and personal life I find each day the imperative to reach out and make sure those I love are well and not in need. Likewise, Judaism dictates a community sharing – a defined requirement for charitable acts. I and my husband attempt a life where everyone we encounter – no matter the level of relationship is addressed with dignity and generosity. This does not mean showboating or obvious denotation of each of our acts of  good deeds. Yes, the accolades are lovely and meaningful but the totality of our life choices in helping others is what best defines us. In no way does G-d want us to be tolerant toward evil or hate – not ever should one condom or ignore the perpetrators of hate. It is this task – this mandate that must inform all REALLY decent persons. Yes, a heart full of love and compassion can help heal the world’s ills but equal is a soul and mind determined to right injustices and combined to fight intolerance. May G-d bless ALL people of REALLY good intentions and may others be brought to justice by laws and the judgement that G-d deems just!!!

Deuteronomy, “Tzedek, tzedek tirdof” (“Justice, Justice, shall you pursue”; 16:20)